If You’re Holding Onto Someone Who You Know Isn’t Good for You, Read This

Letting go definitely isn’t easy. When you truly love someone, the idea of losing them can be so unbearable that you could choose to cling to them with everything you have in you even if your relationship is an unhealthy and unhappy one and even if both of you know that it isn’t working. It can be one of the hardest things to come to terms with, but the fact of the matter is that when it’s time to let go, it’s time to let go.

  1. They’re not making you happy. You can pretend all you want that your relationship is great and that it’s all how you want it to be but that will only get you so far. Sooner or later, you won’t be able to pretend anymore and then you’ll have to actually face the truth. You deserve to be happy in your relationship and not just every once in a blue moon. You deserve to be happy all the time and if this person isn’t making you happy, it’s time to let them go so you can find someone who will.
  2. They’re just not “The One.” It might feel like they’re the person you’re meant to be with and that you’ll never love someone as much, but the truth is, if they mistreat you, take advantage of you, or consistently let you down, there’s no way that they can be ‘the one’. The perfect person for you will never make you feel any of those things so, if you’re still trying to convince yourself that this person who doesn’t even make you happy is the one for you, you’re simply in denial.
  3. You’re only hurting yourself by staying. When you choose to stay with someone in a situation that you both know isn’t working, you’re setting yourself up for pain and struggle. You might care about this person and that means something, but sometimes love isn’t enough to sustain a relationship. You both need to be in a good place emotionally and your relationship needs to be built on positive qualities and healthy standards. A miserable relationship just isn’t worth it.
  4. You deserve so much better. If your partner is mistreating you or making you feel like something is wrong with you, why are you staying? They clearly don’t truly love you because if they did, they would never want to make you feel this way. I know that you may love them, but if you’re not getting what you need from the relationship and your partner isn’t willing to compromise, then you need to have the strength to walk away so that you can be free to find a relationship that’s right for you and worthy of your time.
  5. You may need time to work on yourself. It can be difficult to accept, but you just might not be in the right place for a romantic relationship at the moment. Your partner might not be in the right place either. Sometimes the best thing to do for the both of you is to go your separate ways so that you can do the work you need to do, get the help you might need, and become better people who are in a place where they can give and receive love. There’s no guarantee that the two of you will ever reunite again but it’s worth it in order to become the person you need to be.
  6. This experience will make you stronger. I know it’s probably the last thing that you want to hear right now, but not all heartbreak will leave you empty. Once the pain has somewhat dissipated, and I promise it will, you’ll realize that this experience will help you in the future. If you ever find yourself in a similar relationship, you’ll know how to handle it, when to walk away, and most importantly, you’ll know that you’re going to get through it and be okay.
  7. You’ll feel relieved once you let go. It might sound completely unbelievable right now, but I promise you that once you walk away from a relationship that is no longer serving you and the initial shock is over, you’re going to be so much lighter and less stressed. Unhealthy relationships, including ones between people who love each other, weigh us down and keep us from being as happy as we could be. When you’re free from the mental anguish of a relationship that isn’t meant for you, or even from the idea of a relationship that you never had, you’ll be amazed at how relieved you’ll feel.
  8. It doesn’t mean there’s anything wrong with you. Once a relationship ends or once you let go of someone that you realize you’ll never have anything with, your first thought might be that there’s something wrong with you or that you need to change and that’s why the relationship didn’t work out. There is nothing wrong with you and you definitely do not need to change. Just because one person isn’t right for you doesn’t mean you won’t find someone who is. There is someone out there who will love you and cherish you without leaving you wondering or doubting what you have. You might have to experience some negative relationships from time to time but it’s worth it if it gets you closer to finding your person.
Journalist and Fiction Writer. Raised in the South but built for the big city. Book Nerd. Overall nerd, honestly. Coffee Addict. Obsessed with all things leather and lacy. I like dark lipstick and writing about my exes. I have headphones in 90% of the time.