If You’re Holding Out For The “Perfect” Relationship, You’re Going To Be Disappointed

If You’re Holding Out For The “Perfect” Relationship, You’re Going To Be Disappointed ©iStock/Aleksandar Nakic

When you meet a good guy, it’s natural to wonder if he could finally be The One — Mr. Right, Prince Charming, the man of your dreams. He may be all of the above, but that doesn’t mean your relationship is going to be perfect — and if that’s what you’re holding out for, you’re going to be seriously disappointed.

  1. Even a guy who seems perfect at first could turn out to be a douchebag. Tall, dark and handsome — check. Non-smoker, no children, good job and owns own home — check. Hey may meet all of your pre-requisites, but that doesn’t mean he’s not an undercover loser.
  2. Maybe there’s no such thing as “The One.” Relationships that last are those where there’s an equal partnership, you’re sensitive and supportive of each other’s needs, and you’re committed to making it work, and more than one guy could fill that role. Sure, you may think you’ve found your soulmate, and he may be — but what makes you think you only have one?
  3. Relationships are hard work. A relationship isn’t going to be smooth sailing all the time. The longer you’re together, the more challenges and obstacles you’ll face, and if you’re not fully and equally committed, it’ll never work out.
  4. People argue – fact. No matter how great your relationship is, there are going to be times when you argue or have an all-out screaming match. Some people thrive on that sort of relationship; others are more laid-back and don’t want the stress. The perfect partner is someone with whom you’re able to strike a happy balance.
  5. Sex drives fade… Ask a man his idea of the perfect relationship and he’ll probably say one in which he’s having sex every day — but we all know that for most couples that is completely unachievable (and undesirable). Your relationship might start out like that, but most sex drives fade over time, and that’s normal. If your only connection is sex, you’re definitely not going to last.
  6. … As does romance. The longer a relationship lasts, the more you have to work on keeping the romance alive — especially if you live together and get to see each other’s grosser/less sexy sides all the time. Try setting aside one night a week to have a special ‘date night’ together, and work on keeping the romantic love alive.
  7. It’s not just the two of you. A relationship involves other people, too — parents, friends, and maybe even kids. There might be an ex still on the scene, or one of his buddies you don’t get along with. All of these people will have some influence and input into your relationship, and that can be hard to deal with.
  8. Your life doesn’t have to revolve around your relationship. You should have other goals in life, besides finding the perfect man. Think about career, self-fulfillment, friendship, and just enjoying your life. Your dream guy may or may not come along, so don’t let it bog you down and miss out on all the great things that are happening around you in the meantime.
  9. Everybody’s different. There’s no blueprint for a “perfect” relationship because everyone is different. People have different personalities, different interests, different things they care about. Your idea of perfect is probably miles away from the next person’s, and that’s OK. When you find the person you want to spend your life with and it’s meant to be, it’ll be perfect in its own way.
Ailie is a freelance and creative writer living in Scotland. When she is not busy writing, she will likely be found taking part in political protests, competing in muddy obstacle courses, and climbing mountains. https://ailiewallace.com