If You’re Thinking About Cheating, It’s Not Too Late To Stop Yourself

If You’re Thinking About Cheating, It’s Not Too Late To Stop Yourself ©iStock/AleksandarNakic

Have you ever found yourself thinking about cheating? I’m sure you could come up with a hundred reasons why it’d be okay, but why cheat when you could just leave? Yes, I know there are probably a few rare exceptions, but you get my point.

Even if you think you’re close to cheating, that doesn’t mean you have to. You have other options. It might take some soul searching and thinking about how you really feel in the relationship. Still, cheating isn’t something to take lightly. Make sure you’ve thought it through calmly before doing anything you might regret.

  1. Figure out what’s missing in your relationship. Wanting to cheat means something’s missing in your relationship. Maybe the sex is boring or your partner’s an emotional iceberg. It might be him or it could be you. Knowing what’s missing could help you fix the problem and not end up ruining your relationship.
  2. Think how you would feel if he cheated. Put yourself in his shoes. Would you want him to cheat on you? I don’t care if he cheated on you first. Revenge cheating isn’t going to fix anything. At that point, just dump him and move on. Otherwise, if he’s been faithful, imagine how painful it’d be for him to know you cheated.
  3. Consider ending your relationship. If things are really so bad that you feel the need to cheat, maybe it’s time to just end the relationship. He’d much rather be dumped than cheated on. Besides, you’ll be happier just moving on.
  4. Remember that it could ruin this and future relationships. The odds are high that your relationship is over the moment he finds out. Think that’s all that’ll happen? Think again. Word gets around that you’re a cheater. Finding a good guy after that dirty little secret gets out is near impossible.
  5. Know that he will find out eventually. I don’t care if you’ve cheated once or you’ve been doing it for years, he will find out. Cheaters get cocky and slip up. You can’t hide it forever. Do you really want to face the fall out when that happens?
  6. Could you handle it emotionally? If you care about your partner at all, cheating will drain you emotionally. Not to mention, you run the risk of falling for whoever you’re cheating with, who could be another cheater. Think about the emotional aspect of affairs. If you’re not ready for that, don’t cheat.
  7. Try couple’s therapy to fix any problems. If you’re both willing, try couple’s therapy. Even a few sessions could help you pinpoint the root causes of your main problems and help change your mind about cheating.
  8. Is it the relationship or you? Think carefully about this one. Is it the relationship itself that’s the problem or is it you? Maybe you hate monogamy or just enjoy the rush of sneaking around. Or maybe you truly hate the idea of committing and being tied down. If the problem is you, it might not be something that’s fixable and it’s best to just end the relationship.
  9. Why do you want to cheat? Here’s the main question to answer. Of all the choices you could make, why are you thinking about cheating? Is it just to fulfill a sexual fantasy? Do you need a different type of sex or more sex in general? Do you not feel appreciated? Are you trying to get back at him for something? Be as honest with yourself as possible.
  10. Talk to someone to help sort things out. You don’t have to seek out a professional if you’re not ready for that. Talk to a close friend or relative. They’ll be brutally honest with you. It’s a good way to get a better perspective about things.
  11. Talk to your partner about what needs to change. It might be hard, but sit your partner down and tell them how you feel. You can even tell them you’ve been thinking of cheating. If they didn’t want to listen before, that massive slap in the face might just get them to listen and work through any issues in the relationship.
  12. Think about whether you’re really ready for a relationship. Cheating is often a sign that you’re not ready for a relationship. You’re still too busy having fun and aren’t quite ready for all the responsibility and loyalty that relationships entail.

You should never just act on thoughts of infidelity. This means something is seriously wrong. You can’t ever take it back once it happens. So think carefully and do what’s best for you and your relationship.

Crystal Crowder is a freelance writer and blogger. She's a tech geek at heart, but loves telling it like it is when it comes to love, beauty and style. She's enjoys writing music, poetry and fiction and curling up with a great book. You can find her on Twitter @ccrowderwrites or check out her other writing on Medium.