I Ignored My Friends During My Relationship But They Were Still There To Lift Me Up When It Ended

Admittedly, I was one of those annoying women who ditched my friends when I got a boyfriend. I didn’t do it on purpose but it happened and I’m not proud of it. When my relationship ended, I fully expected my girls not to have much sympathy for me, but they were actually more supportive than ever.

  1. They listened to me without judgment. I must’ve told the same stories about 50 times but they always listened like it was the first. I never felt judged or tuned out. Instead, they graciously gave me their advice and feedback and I listened to it. It was so therapeutic to be able to express myself freely and know that I had the unwavering support of my best friends.
  2. They didn’t just tell me they cared, they showed it. There’s a difference between saying you care about someone and actually showing it. Rather than paying lip service, my friends went out of their way to demonstrate how much they cared about me and wanted me to bounce back from my breakup. They checked in with me regularly and were there to distract me when I was feeling especially low. I can never thank them enough.
  3. They got me up and out of bed when I felt like I couldn’t. I’d been AWOL for a few days, holed up in my bed feeling sorry for myself soon after the breakup. It wasn’t long before one of my friends was knocking on my door and forcing me to get up and out. I fought her on it at the time but in hindsight, I’m so grateful. It really helped me to start to move on.
  4. They had flowers delivered to cheer me up. The day after my breakup I saw a florist’s truck pull up in front of my house and I immediately started sobbing, wondering who it was from. The beautiful arrangement was from my two best friends and came with a card with the words “brighter days are ahead.” It was so thoughtful and broke my heart all over again but for good reasons.
  5. They texted me constantly. My friends sent along plenty of positive reinforcement throughout their days. They’d check in to see if I needed anything and reassure me that I was handling it all really well. They let me know they were proud of me and had my back and I knew they were serious. It was corny but really comforting to hear.
  6. They reminded me of what it felt like to laugh. Nothing makes a tough time more bearable like having a sense of humor. My friends made sure I kept mine by sending me funny breakup memes, quotes, and songs that all were very relatable. One of them insisted on taking a picture of me post-breakup while I was still in bed, hair up with no makeup on, to look back and laugh at. She insisted that one day I’d find the picture and this situation really hilarious. It took me a while to get there but I finally did.
  7. They became a part of my everyday routine. Whether it was going to the gym, getting my nails done, or going to the mall, one of my girls would always be by my side. I typically do these things alone, but post-breakup it was hard to get back to my normal routine. They came with me without any complaints even though I wasn’t always in the best mood and it forced me to get back to doing the things I enjoyed.
  8. They helped me reorganize my living space. This is a big one. My room was a disaster area and one of my girls rightfully suggested that cleaning things up and rejigging the space a bit would make me feel way better. I declined because I wasn’t interested at the time, so she did it herself, reorganizing the ENTIRE room (with my input and blessing, of course). She also took everything that my ex gave me and she’s holding onto it temporarily. It seems silly to think that a clean space really does help create a clear mind but it’s helped so much.
  9. They’re amazing wingwomen wherever we go. My friends love pointing out cute guys at bars, restaurants, the movies, etc. While they’d never force a guy on me, they have shown me that there are plenty of other options out there and it really keeps my spirits up.
  10. They talked me out of texting my ex. I remember insisting that I should text my ex just once to get some closure even though I knew deep down that was a terrible idea. They immediately told me as much, making their points known clearly and pretty frankly. It’s definitely for the best that I avoid him at all costs from now on and I have my friends to thank for keeping me strong.
Shell is a freelance writer living in Boston, MA. Writing has always been a part of her life even outside of school. In the past she’s written for her school newspaper, town newspaper and Her Campus website. In her spare time she enjoys hanging out with friends, reading, listening to music, going to the beach and relaxing. She looks forward to experiencing a lot more in the coming years and stepping out of her comfort zone.