I’ll Always Love Too Hard Or Not At All

Wearing my heart on my sleeve is dangerous I know, but I honestly don’t know any other way to be. I’m an intensely passionate person and that’s especially true when it comes to matters of love. I’ll never change who I am and I’ll always love too hard or not at all. Here’s why:

  1. There’s no point in half ass-ing love. When the time is finally right for me, I don’t want to look back at the beginning of my love story with any sense of regret. I don’t want to wish that I had done things differently or that I’d put in just a little more effort. Truthfully, I don’t understand why more people don’t treat the people they date like they could be their soulmate. If he could be my forever story, I want it to be one that’s worth telling.
  2. I want my love story to mean something. These days, dating is a complete disaster and “relationships” get their start with drama and nonsense games. What ever happened to real and sappy love? What happened to the days of meeting someone you’re completely crazy about and showing it freely without the fear of judgment? Why is everyone so terrified of feelings and love? I won’t buy into it. I want the love I’m searching for to be truly magical in our own way.
  3. I’m hopeful that one day I’ll be giving that energy to the right guy.  I’m sick of being shamed for wearing my heart on my sleeve because sooner or later, I’m going to open my heart to the right guy — and to me, it’s worth any disappointment or heartbreak I experience along the way. I might be wasting my energy on the wrong guys in the meantime, but I’m hopeful and I know that the courage of my heart is going to eventually land on the guy who’s right for me.
  4. I need to be vulnerable over and over again in order to get it right. Part of the journey to find love is being vulnerable over and over again until I finally get it right. Am I going to get hurt in the process? Definitely. Love is a journey, not a destination, and I want my journey to be one that I know I tried my hardest to make amazing. The point is that I’m trying and that’s all that matters.
  5. I choose to be authentic — not fake. I’m a passionate and affectionate person by nature and I’m not about to hide that just because some might think it’s too transparent or too emotionally available. Isn’t being emotionally available a good thing? After all, I’m looking for real love here, not some charade. I won’t withhold responses or play an immature game to engage in cat and mouse with a guy — it never ends well for me. I’ve learned my lessons. Closing myself off and not allowing my love or intentions of love ripple through me only takes away from the person I truly am, and I’ll always be myself. Sorry not sorry.
  6. I’m not afraid of my feelings. I’m a grown woman and I’m completely unafraid of what I feel for a person I’m dating. If I like them, I tell them. If I’m falling for them, I show them with my actions and affections. I no longer give a damn if this scares guys off because if you ask me, most guys these days are unappreciative little jerks who need games and immature manipulation to stay engaged. I’m not looking for a little boy, I’m looking for a grown man who appreciates a good and honest woman like myself.
  7. Love isn’t a game to me. Some people need games and that’s all well and good but it’s not how I operate. I want the kind of love that shakes my core and makes me exceedingly grateful for every disaster I’ve braved and survived to get there. Mediocre love doesn’t interest me and neither does a love that was built on a foundation of games and carefully calculated actions. It should be authentic or I don’t want it at all.
  8. If I end up getting hurt, I know I’ll survive. I’ve been through enough to know that no matter what happens and no matter how many times my open heart leads me to the land of disappointment, I’ll always mend the broken pieces and come back stronger than before. It’s because I love hard that I’m a diamond in the rough.
  9. The risk of losing is worth the gamble. Finding love for me is no joke. Love is a gift, not an accessory to life, and I plan to cherish the right one for me. I might lose a hundred times before I finally win, but to me it’s worth it because I know what I have to give is amazing and the love I’ll eventually find will be equally as amazing.
  10. I’m fearless in my pursuit of love. If anything, I’m brave AF for having the courage to put my heart out there the way that I do. If more people learned to open their hearts fearlessly instead of running from the idea of love, there would be a huge slant in modern dating culture for the better. Call me crazy, call me naive, I don’t give a damn. I’ll always love too hard or not at all.