Why I’ll Never Leave My Birth Control Up To A Guy

Why I’ll Never Leave My Birth Control Up To A Guy ©iStock/volkovslava

Some women believe that it’s the guy’s “responsibility” to provide protection, but who declared men the captains of safe sex? That’s crazy. I have a different outlook, because no matter how great the guy I’m sleeping with may be, birth control is up to me. Here’s why:

  1. I take responsibility for my own life. I’m responsible for my actions. Sure, my partner is responsible for his too, but that doesn’t mean I’m going to depend on him for my own protection. Safe sex is smart sex, and not taking birth control into your own hands is just plain dumb.
  2. I have more at risk here. Every guy has the risk of hooking up with a rando and being blessed with an STD, but at the end of the day, men can’t get pregnant. Therefore as a woman, I feel I have a hell of a lot more at stake. I’d be carrying a child for nine months. My life would be affected every single day. Sure, he might have the burden of being the baby daddy, but for those first nine months, the stress is all on me.
  3. Guys lie. Not every guy, but even if it’s only a few bad eggs, are you willing to bet an STD that he’s telling the truth? Just because you ask, doesn’t mean he’ll tell. Even if there’s no concern of STDs, guys lie about condoms too. You ask if he had a condom but later you find out he had it, he just didn’t use it, because it doesn’t “feel as good.” The truth is when it comes to sex, a man is thinking with his penis. So do you really want a loser making decisions for you?
  4. Some men don’t show signs of STDs. That doesn’t mean they don’t have them, and that doesn’t mean they can’t give them to you. It just means they don’t show physical symptoms, and in some cases they might not even know about the STD they carry. Just because he looks clean doesn’t mean he is, and at the end of the night, I’d rather be safe than sorry.
  5. It’s my body. I know my body better than any man, so I should be able to choose my own form of birth control and one that’s best suited to my needs. If a girl requests a condom, that should never be denied. If I choose the patch over birth control pills, that’s my own damn decision. Men might think they have a say, but when it comes to your body, your birth control is up to you.
  6. Horny men are stupid men. When the blood rushes to the head of his penis, it somehow depletes the head on his shoulders. It can seem as if it sucks the brainpower right out of them. So when there’s no condom and he says, “Let’s risk it,” don’t let the dumbass lead you to pregnancy.
  7. It takes two to tango. You can’t just expect a guy to hold all the responsibility. He should be taking safe sex just as seriously, but even if you can count on him, should you? Taking birth control into my own hands gives me peace of mind. I know if I took my pill, but I don’t know if he’ll be smart enough to bring a condom. It’s a team effort, and I’m just as responsible as you.
  8. No one else is looking out for you. Therefore, you have to look out for yourself. You can’t count on him to always come protected. You have to protect yourself and look out for your own best interest. He’s looking out for himself, and likely his biggest interest is the needs of his penis. It’s great to be able to depend on a guy, but you have to depend on yourself first. Be your own knight in shining armor, unless you want the knocked up damsel to be you.
Kelsey Dykstra is a freelance writer based in Huntington Beach, CA. She has a bachelor’s degree in Creative Writing from Grand Valley State University and been writing professionally since graduating in 2013. In addition to writing about love and relationships for Bolde and lifestyle topics for Love to Know, she also writes about payment security and small business solutions for PaymentCloud.

Originally from Michigan, this warm weather seeker relocated to the OC just last summer. Kelsey enjoys writing her own fictional pieces, reading a variety of young adult novels, binging on Netflix, and of course soaking up the sun.

You can find more about Kelsey on her LinkedIn profile or on Twitter @dykstrakelsey.