Why I Plan On Adopting When I Start A Family

Why I Plan On Adopting When I Start A Family ©iStock/margaritabezkrovnaya

Yes, I can physically have kids, but when the day comes to start a family, I’d rather adopt. I know I’m not the only one who feels this way, but it seems that way sometimes. It’s not that I have anything against giving birth and having a biological child, but I just don’t feel that it’s right for me. Sure, I may change my mind and have a biological child, too — I don’t know. I just know that adoption feels like the best option for me for a number of reasons:

  1. I’d rather avoid the pain. OK, so this really isn’t a big problem. Sure, it’ll hurt like hell and be uncomfortable for nine months, but it’s all worth it when you see your child. Still, I can’t say that missing out on that pain would a bad thing.
  2. No surprises. I’m a bit of a control freak and I don’t want a surprise child. What if I couldn’t support a child at that time? I want to give my child the best life possible and some random moment might not be quite right.
  3. I’ll know it’s the right time. I’d rather adopt so I know I’m having a child at the right time in my life. What if things aren’t right until I’m 40? My chances of getting pregnant are slim then. I could just safely adopt and still get the joy of raising a child.
  4. Every child deserves a loving home. Have you went to an orphanage or foster home? Most of the children want the same thing — someone to love them. I could give birth or I could give one or more existing kids the loving home they crave. Isn’t that just as meaningful as creating a baby?
  5. I’m better with old kids. I’ll admit that I’m not great with babies. I honestly feel uncomfortable around them. Maybe it’s because they’re always being shoved at me. Put me around school aged kids and I’m right at home. As I see it, older kids aren’t adopted as often, so why not adopt an older child and make the most of that stronger connection?
  6. I don’t see a difference. Whenever I mention wanting to adopt versus having kids, I’m always told that it’s different when they’re actually yours. I don’t see any difference. When I adopt, the kid will be mine. It doesn’t matter if they came from inside me or not. I’ll treat them the same because they’ll be no different than a biological child to me.
  7. I know something about them first. You can’t predict what your child will like or what their personality will be like. Adoption gives you the chance to learn something about the child first. I want to make sure I can give a child what they need to be happy. If they want to be an Olympic skier when they grow up, but I live where the lowest temperature is 60 degrees, I can’t give them that dream so easily. It’s also one of the reasons I want to adopt a child that’s a little bit older.
  8. I’ve always rescued animals. Go ahead and roll your eyes. If pets can prepare you for relationships, they can prepare you to be a parent. Seeing a scared cat realize it finally has a home and gradually warm up to you absolutely melts your heart. I can only imagine how incredible this would feel with a child. No, I don’t think of children as pets, but sometimes they do need someone to rescue them.
  9. There are already enough kids in the world. Women put kids up for adoption every day for a variety of reasons. I could bring another child into the world or I could give a home to a child no one wanted or couldn’t support right now. To me, that’s the more responsible choice.
  10. It doesn’t change how I love them. I get sick of hearing how I could never love an adopted child like one that grew inside me. Why not? Aren’t I going to raise an adopted child, help them through tough times and build the same parent-child bond? Yes, I am. Adoption doesn’t change how you love a child. If you feel that way, it’s just a sign that adoption isn’t right for you.
  11. I wanted to help from an early age. I remember watching a local adoption special when I was fourth grade. I couldn’t help crying as a 13-year-old told her story. She’d been in six foster homes and always tried to be as good as possible so maybe someone would keep her. She promised to be no problem and all she ever wanted was her own room and someone to call Mom and Dad. At that point, I knew what I wanted to do. I’ve watched numerous stories since then and it’s only reinforced my decision.
  12. I’ve seen adoption first-hand. I know adoption works out because I’ve seen it first hand. I’ve seen how close my best friend is with his parents and vice versa and he’s adopted. He’s always called them Mom and Dad and doesn’t think of them as anything other than his parents. Hell, they even have a lot of the same personality traits and physical attributes. So, yes, I’d rather adopt since I know how much it truly means to a child who’s been through it.
Crystal Crowder is a freelance writer and blogger. She's a tech geek at heart, but loves telling it like it is when it comes to love, beauty and style. She's enjoys writing music, poetry and fiction and curling up with a great book. You can find her on Twitter @ccrowderwrites or check out her other writing on Medium.