I’ll Never Lose Myself For A Relationship — Here’s Why

I’d love to find love and be in a relationship again, but dating is hard as hell — and as much as I’d love to embark on that new chapter of my life, there are certain things I can’t and won’t give up just to get there. I know love is a sacrifice and I’m willing to compromise, but losing myself for a relationship simply isn’t an option.

  1. I’ve worked too hard to become who I am. I’ve fought many hard battles to get to where I am in my life, and I won’t give up everything I am and everything I’ve worked for just to have a man in my life. I’ve spent more time with myself than anyone else in this world, and even if the right guy walks into my life and stays with me forever, I need to continue to make myself a priority as well.
  2. I know myself better than ever and I don’t want to lose that. I know exactly who I am and even though I’m constantly changing and growing, I shouldn’t have to change who I am completely just to appease the guy in my life. I’m open to learning new things about myself and welcoming who he is into my world, but the right relationship for me needs to be a balance of both. I shouldn’t need to give up the things that I love.
  3. I realize the importance of keeping my individuality. I’ve lost myself in relationships before and those loves ended abruptly when I woke up one day and realized I’d traveled way too far from the woman I am in my core. I won’t be throwing my life away and running right on over to someone else’s world just to have someone by my side. Like I said, there needs to be a balance.
  4. I’m not looking to be someone’s arm candy — I want to be a partner for life. I’m not looking to be a trophy wife or the perfect addition to his world — it’s my world too. I’ve never really understood how some women can abandon their hobbies and goals just for a relationship. It’s simply not an option for me. I can’t do it.
  5. The right guy should respect my own uniqueness and interests. If he’s the right guy for me, he should love the ways that we’re different and respect the things that I’m into even if he isn’t into them himself. There will be things that we do together and things that we do separately — we don’t need to be attached at the hip. To me, keeping to who I am and having a life of my own is what makes the true love story even more beautiful.
  6. I’m not a relationship chameleon. I refuse to be the girl who goes from relationship to relationship conforming to everything he likes and wants to do — screw that. If he isn’t willing to jump into my world too and be part of the whole picture, he’s not the right guy for me. I’m not so desperate for love that I need to abandon who I am and conform just to be in a relationship.
  7. I’ve come too far to go backward. I’ve come too far in my journey of self-discovery to throw it all away in favor of love. I’m stronger, wiser, braver and more confident to wait until the guy who will let me be me shows up. I’m willing to compromise to have love in my life, but compromise doesn’t mean that I need to give up my own sense of self or my hobbies to get there.
  8. If I have to sacrifice myself, it’s not the right relationship. If it’s truly the right relationship for me, I won’t need to change or hide any parts of who I am. Things should fall into place naturally. I’ve made the mistake before of abandoning my own hopes, dreams and sense of self just to feel like I was part of something bigger but I’ve realized that the big picture is staying who I am no matter what relationship I’m in — the relationship with myself is the strongest.