I’m A “Good Girl”, But That Doesn’t Mean I’m Sexually Repressed

Being known as the straight laced girl whose idea of a wild night is drinking chamomile tea in your pajamas while binge watching half a season of House of Cards in one might not make me a hot catch to most guys — but screw that. I’m looking for long-lasting love, not a one-night stand, but that doesn’t mean I’m some prude. If a guy is into me, though, he needs to know these things before I go any further:

  1. I don’t think I’m better than you. Or that I’m better than you or anyone who isn’t rolling the way I do, for that matter. In fact, I understand that everybody’s different and respect that. It’s seriously not a big deal.
  2. I couldn’t care less about missing out on things. Just because I’m not getting wild and crazy doesn’t mean that I’re missing out on anything. I have a totally different idea about which experiences in life are too precious to miss, so no, I don’t need you to feel sorry for me.
  3. I don’t have issues with “bad girls.” Or bad boys, for that matter. I’m not picky with who I’m friends with and I accept basically anything anyone wants to do. I just tend to be friends with like-minded people because we have more in common. That doesn’t mean I can’t chill with people who are different from me, too.
  4. I don’t care about anyone else’s sex life but my own. People around me can hook up all they want and I won’t even care because it’s none of my business. In the same way, you shouldn’t waste your time feeling sorry for the presumed “sexual repression” people like you think I’m “struggling” with each day. Which brings me to the next point…
  5. Sexual repression isn’t my thing. So please don’t pity me or mock me, thinking that I’m intentionally forbidding myself from experiencing good sex. I’m not a prude, I;m just not obsessed with sex and have other things to think about.
  6. I don’t need you to protect me. Sorry to disappoint you, but I’m not a damsel in distress. I know how to handle my own stuff, so thanks for the protective vibe, but I’m good all on our own.
  7. I definitely don’t need you to fix me. I’m not some delicate Barbie doll who looks beautiful but is really so wrong. I’m not a broken woman who needs your expert hands to get me back to working condition again. I don’t need to see the light because ICYMI, I’m already in it.
  8. I’ve mastered the art of being badass and independent. Contrary to popular (but skewed) opinion, I’m not weak. I’m a strong and independent woman who can carry myself well, no matter how tough the situation is. So thanks for your offer to help, but no thanks.
  9. My life is far from perfect. My life is not problem-proof just because I’m a “good girl.” Like every human being in this planet, I deal with setbacks and failures, too. I have personal struggles that I wrestle with on a daily basis, so to say that I live a beautiful and perfect life is completely misguided.
  10. This is the “real” me. I’m not faking it. Being “good” is just who I am. I’m not going to change it for your sake, so deal with it or get out of my way.
  11. I know how to have fun. Your definition of “fun” is obviously miles apart from mine, but that doesn’t mean I’m living a miserable life. I have the people I love and things I’m passionate about, and that’s really all I need.
Maine Belonio is a twenty-something mom and writer who has a penchant for coffee, long distance running, Tolkien, Switchfoot, and Jesus. Find her broken, honest, and brave musings at mainebelonio.com.