1. “Everyone Has Lost Their Mind, and Their Manners.”
Part of the “As Told to Star Candy” series. Have a story to share? Contact [email protected]
Meet Margaret 71. She shares why she believes the world could use a little old-school wisdom and respect right now.
“I grew up in a small Midwestern town where we were taught to shake hands, look people in the eye, and say ‘please’ and ‘thank you’ like it was gospel. We respected our teachers, we respected our elders, and we respected ourselves. That didn’t make us perfect, but it gave us a foundation—one rooted in discipline, accountability, and showing up.
These days, I watch the world spinning faster and noisier, and I worry we’ve lost some of that grounding. Everyone is glued to their phones and there’s a lack of civility, of ownership, of basic kindness which seems to have been replaced by hatred. I’m not saying we had it all right—but we had a code, and we stuck to it.” — Margaret Carter, Illinois.
Continue reading to explore why we could all benefit from the values and traits of Baby Boomers.
2. Looking People in the Eye Shows You Value Connection
When was the last time you really looked at someone during a conversation? Not a quick glance between phone checks, but genuine eye contact that says “I’m here with you.” It’s becoming a lost art in a world where screens dominate our attention. Eye contact isn’t just old-school etiquette—it’s the foundation of real human connection.
Your eyes communicate more than your words ever could. They show interest, build trust, and create a bridge between you and whoever you’re speaking with. Next time you’re talking to someone, challenge yourself to maintain comfortable eye contact. You’ll be amazed at how much deeper your conversations become and how much more you actually hear.
3. Putting Down Your Phone Shows You Value Presence
That notification can wait—really, it can. When you set your phone aside during conversations, meals, or meetings, you’re making a powerful statement about what matters to you. You’re saying that the human being in front of you deserves your full attention, not just the scraps left after scrolling. Your constant presence on a device sends a clear message that whatever’s happening on that screen is more important than the people around you. And putting it in your pocket can enhance your relationships, according to Greater Good Magazine.
Try creating phone-free zones or times in your day. Watch how the quality of your interactions transforms when you’re fully present. The digital world will still be there when you return, but the moment with the person in front of you is fleeting and worth your undivided attention.
4. Saying Please and Thank You Shows You Value Kindness
Those two little phrases your parents drilled into you? They’re always necessary, as the Huffington Post points out. “Please” and “thank you” are more than just polite words; they’re acknowledgments of others’ humanity and worth. In a world that seems increasingly entitled, these simple expressions set you apart and create ripples of kindness that extend far beyond your interaction.
Make these words automatic in every exchange, from the coffee shop to the boardroom. Notice how the energy shifts when you express genuine gratitude to the person helping you, serving you, or simply holding the elevator. These verbal markers of respect cost nothing but mean everything to the person receiving them.
5. Holding Doors Open Shows You Value Consideration
That brief moment when you pause to hold a door might seem insignificant in your day, but it speaks volumes about how you view others. It’s not about the door itself—it’s about acknowledging that someone else’s convenience matters to you. This small gesture bridges generations, political divides, and social differences in one simple act of human courtesy. Plus, according to Psychology Today, it’s a key indicator of conscientiousness in a person.
The beauty of holding doors is that it creates a chain reaction. Watch how often one held door leads to another person doing the same for someone else. These micro-moments of consideration build a culture where we look out for each other. In a world that can feel increasingly disconnected, your hand on that door handle is a powerful statement about the kind of community you want to create.
6. Writing Thank You Notes Shows You Value Appreciation
In an age of instant messages and emoji reactions, taking the time to write an actual thank you note is revolutionary and, according to experts cited in the New York times, more important than ever. It shows you’re willing to invest more than the minimum effort to express gratitude. That handwritten note says you valued what someone did enough to pick up a pen, find a card, and drop it in the mail—actions that required thought and intention.
The next time someone does something meaningful for you, surprise them with a physical thank you note. It doesn’t have to be poetry—just a few sincere sentences will do. Your message will likely end up displayed on their refrigerator or desk, a reminder that appreciation still exists in tangible form.
7. Giving Up Your Seat Shows You Value Compassion
When you stand so someone else can sit, you’re practicing one of the simplest forms of compassion. It’s not just about being polite—it’s recognizing another person’s comfort might matter more than your own in that moment. Whether it’s for an elderly person, someone pregnant, or anyone who looks like they need it more than you do, this gesture cuts through our self-centered tendencies.
The beautiful thing about offering your seat is how it changes your perspective. You begin noticing the needs of people around you rather than staying absorbed in your own world. This awareness extends beyond bus rides and waiting rooms, gradually transforming how you move through the world.
8. Addressing Adults Properly Shows You Value Authority
There’s something grounding about teaching kids to use “Mr.,” “Mrs.,” or “Ms.” when speaking to adults. It creates a healthy recognition that not every relationship is casual, and some deserve a marker of respect. This doesn’t diminish anyone—it actually elevates both the child and the adult in the exchange.
Consider bringing back this practice in your household or reinforcing it if it’s already there. Watch how it shapes how children view authority figures and creates natural boundaries that actually make kids feel more secure. In a world where every relationship seems flattened to “friend” status, these small distinctions prepare children for navigating different types of relationships throughout life.
9. Having Distraction-Free Dinners Shows You Value Family Time
Your group chat can survive without you for thirty minutes while you eat with your family. Creating a space where phones are set aside and conversation flows uninterrupted isn’t just nostalgic—it’s necessary for maintaining real connections. Those distraction-free meals are where inside jokes develop, where you learn what’s actually happening in each other’s lives, and where family culture is formed.
Start with just one or two dinner nights a week where devices are banned from the table. You might face resistance at first (possibly even from yourself), but stick with it. The conversations that unfold when everyone’s actually present rather than mentally elsewhere create the memories and bonds that sustain relationships through challenging times.
10. Showing Up On Time Shows You Value Others
When you arrive at the agreed time, you’re making a statement about how you view the other person’s time. Chronic lateness isn’t just a quirky personality trait—it’s essentially saying your schedule and priorities matter more than the person waiting for you. Being punctual demonstrates that you’ve planned your day with others in mind, not just yourself.
Try leaving earlier than you think necessary for your next few appointments. The stress reduction alone might convert you to punctuality permanently. Plus, you’ll notice how much more positively people respond to you when they’re not starting interactions from a place of irritation or feeling disrespected by your tardiness.
11. Listening Before Responding Shows You Value Understanding
When someone’s speaking, are you really listening or just waiting for your turn to talk? There’s a world of difference between hearing words and truly absorbing what someone is communicating. Genuine listening means putting aside your mental rebuttals and focusing completely on understanding the other person’s perspective. It means letting them finish their thoughts without interruption, even when you’re bursting to respond.
Try this the next time you’re in a conversation: after the person finishes speaking, take a breath before responding. This pause ensures they’re actually done and gives you a moment to process what they’ve said. You’ll be amazed at how this small space transforms the quality of your communication and how much more respected people feel in your presence.
12. Accepting Criticism Shows You Value Growth
That defensive feeling that arises when someone points out your mistake? That’s the exact moment to take a deep breath instead of firing back. Receiving feedback gracefully isn’t about letting people walk all over you—it’s about recognizing that none of us have all the answers. Your willingness to hear critical feedback shows tremendous strength, not weakness.
Next time someone offers a critique, try responding with “That’s interesting, tell me more” instead of explaining why they’re wrong. Notice how this opens up a conversation rather than shutting it down. The most successful people aren’t those who never make mistakes—they’re the ones who use feedback as stepping stones rather than stumbling blocks.
13. Keeping Your Word Shows You Value Integrity
In a world of “maybe” and “let’s play it by ear,” being someone who does what they say they’ll do makes you practically a unicorn. When you commit to something and follow through—whether it’s a lunch date or a major project—you’re building a foundation of trust that’s increasingly rare. Your reliability tells others they can count on you when it matters.
Start paying attention to how often you make commitments versus how often you keep them. If there’s a gap, narrow it by being more careful about what you agree to in the first place. It’s better to say no upfront than to become known as someone whose word holds little weight.
14. Practicing Respect Shows You Value Humanity
Respect isn’t just for people you agree with or admire—it’s for everyone you encounter, regardless of their status, beliefs, or relationship to you. This doesn’t mean you have to like everyone or approve of their choices. It simply means acknowledging their inherent dignity as a human being, even when it’s challenging. The way you speak to the janitor should mirror how you speak to the CEO.
Look for opportunities to practice respect in unlikely places—with the telemarketer interrupting your dinner, the driver who cut you off, or the relative with opposing political views. These challenging moments are where respect matters most and where your character truly shows itself. In a divided world, your choice to treat others with basic dignity, even in disagreement, might be the most revolutionary act of all.
