Why I’m Actively Pursuing Guys I Usually Wouldn’t

Why I’m Actively Pursuing Guys I Usually Wouldn’t ©iStock/Squaredpixels

My track record for serious boyfriends isn’t the greatest. I haven’t had a lot of relationships but the guys I’ve spent the most time on have been kinda crappy. The reason for this is that I always seem to be attracted to the same type of guys — ones that appear mysterious and a little rough around the edges. Recently, I decided it’s time to branch out a bit when it comes to what I look for in a potential boyfriend. Here’s why:

  1. I’m in control. I used to think you can’t help who you fall in love with, but that’s BS. I realized that if I hadn’t given those guys the time of day, they would have never gotten onto my list of exes.
  2. I want a new kind of passion. I don’t want some teenage relationship full of fights and breakups just so I can feel some unwavering passion. I now realize that you can have that same infatuation without all the drama.
  3. I want a lasting love. A relationship that’s going to last is going to be a lot easier to maintain if I change my taste from bad boy to good man. I’m getting too old to waste any more of my best years on something that will inevitably fall apart.
  4. A good relationship is good for you. I’ve had some pretty bad health scares because of the relationships I’ve been in. The immense stress of my last bad relationship even brought me to the hospital a couple of times. I now refuse to let any man bring me to that point.
  5. I need to respect myself. A lot of us would love to eat greasy but delicious food every day of our lives, but we don’t because we respect our bodies. The same goes for how we choose our partners. I’ve come to the realization that if I can take care of myself everywhere else in life, I can take care of my heart, too.
  6. My self-esteem has been rattled. Being in a relationship with someone that tears you down can really weigh on you. When you have a few relationships like that, it’s seriously damaging. Now that I’ve gotten back to my somewhat confident self, I won’t be looking for any other guy that would willingly do that to another person.
  7. My type is changing. Unbeknownst to me, as I’ve gotten older, my taste in guys has actually changed quite a bit. Now that I know I can be into different types of guys, I’m breaking my pattern and going for it without a second thought.
  8. I deserve love. Through my younger years, I think my taste in guys was directly related to how much I thought I deserved. Now that I know I deserve the best, I’m no longer going for second tier. He has to be an all around great guy, because I’m worth it.
  9. I need different. I’m exhausted from the same old song and dance when it comes to my relationships. The next guy I say I love you to is going to be completely different than anyone I’ve felt that way about in the past, and I’m making sure of it.
  10. I never gave the nice guy a chance. And I missed out on some really great guys because of it. I chased the wrong guys while others chased me and now that I know what those type of guys are all about, I’m turning the tables.
Angelica Bottaro has a bachelor’s degree in Psychology from Trent University and an Advanced Diploma in Journalism from Centennial College. She began her career as a freelance writer in 2014, racking up bylines in The Good Men Project, MakeWell, LymeTime, YouQueen, and more. She eventually shifted her focus and began writing about mental health, nutrition, and chronic disease for VeryWell Health.

You can follow her on Facebook or check out her website at AngelicaBottaro.ca. She also posts on Instagram @a.ct._b and Twitter @angiiebee.