I’m totally aware that if I want to find Mr. Right, I’m going to have to take some chances in dating — and I’m happy to do it if it means I end up with long-lasting love. But what if I don’t make the right choice? I’m terrified of ending up with the wrong guy — here’s why:
- Relationships are messy. My single life is pretty organized. I work from my apartment, I work out at a studio in my neighborhood, I have my friends and parents and hobbies. Things are going to get much more complicated when I’m in a relationship and if it doesn’t work out, that’s going to suck majorly.
- Things change when you least expect. Have you ever been in a relationship that seemed magical and amazing and then, boom, everything suddenly changed for the worse? Yeah, me too. I really don’t want to chose wrong and have to go through that pain and confusion again.
- People turn on you. It’s the worst when your relationship is falling apart and instead of admitting that they’ve messed up, the person you’re dating totally blames you. It’s like they do a complete 180 and are this completely different human being. That’s super scary.
- Second dates are important. I chose my second dates carefully and maybe that’s being too nuts, but it works for me. It’s a way for me to make sure that I’m going into something with a clear head and full heart (Friday Night Lights forever).
- I can’t date just to date. Coupled-up girls always say they miss their single days and wish they could try swiping for dates. I don’t find going on first dates nearly as exciting (as in, not at all) and would rather stay solo a bit longer than settle.
- I don’t want to resent anyone. Of course there are zero guarantees in life and love, but if I give up my single lifestyle for a guy and he turns out to be the worst possible boyfriend, I’m going to seriously resent him.
- Surprises suck. There are so many crappy ways to get shocked when you fall for someone. They can cheat on you, randomly break up with you for zero reason, or announce they’re moving across the country and, spoiler apart, you’re not going with them. Giving up my life the way it is now would mean surprises around every corner.
- Long-term break-ups are even worse. It’s not fun to recover from an almost relationship or even something that lasts six months to a year, but if you’re seeing someone for longer than that, it’s a whole new kind of pain. I’d rather get out sooner instead of later.
- My gut instincts rule my life. Friends think I’m a little defensive and they might be totally right. I bail at the first sign of weirdness, all in hopes of protecting my head and my heart. I’d rather wait a bit longer for the right guy than keep dating someone who is already super sketchy. Better to be single than realize you’ve made a massive mistake.
