I’m All Or Nothing In Relationships—Casual Isn’t An Option

A lot of guys just want to date for the sake of not being alone these days but I’m not down for that. Unless he’s going to be my next big relationship, then I just don’t even want to waste my time.

I’m a busy gal. 

Between running my own business, exercising, and spending time with my friends and family, there’s hardly any time for anything else—other than perhaps a bit of (literal) Netflix and chill. If I’m going to welcome a third party in my life, he needs to be worth slotting into my busy schedule, otherwise, he’s taking time away from all the other important stuff I’d rather be doing.

I have a different outlook on love these days.

Now that I’m in my late twenties, I have a new perspective when it comes to life and love. I don’t want to waste precious time building a foundation with a guy if it’s only going to end in tears later on down the line. I have to protect myself.

I’ve had my fair share of heartbreak

For me, it’s not worth risking getting ridiculously hurt over a guy who’s a “maybe” for a boyfriend. I have to take great care of my emotions because I don’t have the energy to mourn almost relationships anymore. Been there, done that, got the T-shirt—and I don’t want to go back to that life.

I have to see a future with him pretty much straight away. 

If I start seeing someone and he seems like Mr. Right Now instead of Mr. Right, I cut it off there and then. I appreciate that love grows the more time that you spend together, but I think you can get a rather good idea of whether someone will fit into your lifestyle after the first date.

He has to be into me just as much as I’m into him. 

Gone are the days where I’m happy to hang around waiting for a guy to be ready to commit to me. I’m older, more sensible, and wiser. Plus, I know what it means now when a guy keeps you hanging on—it means he likes you but not enough to make you his girlfriend. Nope, I just can’t be dealing with that at 28 years old.

I’ve been too lenient in the past. 

I’ve made a lot of mistakes with my love life previously—who hasn’t?—including introducing a guy to my loved ones in the very early stages of dating. To be honest, it’s backfired in my face each and every time. I’m not willing to repeat similar mistakes. My patience and tolerance level isn’t where it was at five years ago and I want to carry on moving forward instead of being stuck in the same place.

I don’t like sharing. 

If I really like a guy, I don’t like him dating around, and that’s kind of the point of the no-strings-attached concept. I also don’t like the idea of sharing my bed with him one night only for him to go and sleep in someone else’s the next night. Call me old-fashioned, but sex is extremely intimate and meaningful to me, so the thought of the guy I’m into being with anyone else makes me freak out.

I believe in old-school romance. 

Maybe I watch too many rom-coms, but I’m very traditional when it comes to romance. I like the idea of boy meets girl, boy only has eyes for girl, boy woos girl, boy and girl live happily ever after. Boy meets girl, boy has eyes for many girls, boy dates around, and boy may not end up with original girl just doesn’t have the same appeal.

I’m more than just someone’s option. 

I understand that casual relationships work for some people but they honestly just don’t work for me. It’s been a long time coming, but I now value and respect myself too much to be someone’s option instead of their sole choice. I suppose it depends on what your intentions are—if you don’t know what you want then it makes sense to date around until you figure stuff out. However, if you know you want a long-term relationship out of dating, why waste your time dating a Robin if you’re looking for a Batman? For me, it just doesn’t make sense.

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