I’m An Amazing Woman, So Why Does My Love Life Suck?

For all the time and energy I’ve put into dating these past few years, I should get a medal… or at least a relationship. Instead, I’m still living my single AF life, going on first date after first date and wondering when things are going to change. I keep asking myself why I’m having such a hard time finding love when I know I’m a catch, and I just can’t figure it out.

  1. I can’t tell the difference between a fake nice guy and a real one. Every time I think I’ve finally meet an actual sweetheart of a guy, it’s like the universe is laughing at me. He becomes emotionally manipulative or keeps bailing or is just an jerk. I want to stay positive because I don’t think that every guy is like that, but it can just be hard to tell them apart at first.
  2. I have dating app anxiety. Every time I match with someone new or have an online conversation, I wonder if this will actually lead to a date or if I’ll be cancelled on yet again. Using dating apps makes me anxious, and yet it seems to be the only way to actually meet guys these days.
  3. I find it hard to have hope. I want to be the kind of girl who believes that love is always possible and that it just takes one more date to get there. But wanting that and actually being that person are two totally different things. With every bad date and almost relationship, it becomes even more difficult to have hope, and that doesn’t seem to be changing.
  4. I’m doing everything that I can. Doing my best has always been good enough. Trying hard and putting in the effort has gotten me through grad school and has helped me find the career of my dreams. When it comes to dating, that’s all changed. I’m doing everything that I can, meeting new guys and putting myself out there, and yet it never seems to amount to anything.
  5. I’m always an almost girlfriend. No matter how hard I try to be the real deal, I always find myself being put on the back burner by a new guy. Sure, I know how to walk away at the first sign of something sketchy, and I would never settle for a jerk. But it still sucks to be put in this position.
  6. I’m relationship material (despite the evidence). I may be single, but I still would make an awesome girlfriend. I’m independent, smart, funny, and am working toward goals every day. In other words, I’m a catch, so why am I still on my own?
  7. I can’t take another disappointment. Recently, I met a guy who seemed like the kind of person that I’ve been searching for. Unfortunately, he kept bailing and our plans never really materialized. It sucked and I really don’t want that to happen yet again. There should be a limit on how many times this can occur.
  8. I’m the “bad date girl” in my friend group. It’s almost comical how many awful date stories are in my back pocket and how much time I’ve spent talking to my BFFs about my love life. I never wanted to claim this identity, but it seems to follow me everywhere.
  9. I wonder if this is it for me. It’s pretty much impossible not to wonder if the love I’ve had so far in my life is it and if I should just accept being single AF. Will there be any more boyfriends or even almost boyfriends? Is it ridiculous and foolish to keep hoping? I don’t know the answer, and hopefully soon I’ll be proven wrong, but for now, it seems like I should realize my fate.
  10. I truly hate dating. It’s hard to trust new people when it seems like dating itself is the enemy. Sure, I can lie to myself and say that I enjoy meeting different people and that it’s fun to get out there, but that’s just not the case. The reality of my single life is that I truly hate dating. I don’t like small talk or wondering if things are going somewhere or all the weird red flags. It would be awesome to skip to the part where I meet someone amazing. Until then, I’ll be sitting here wondering what I did in a past life to make my love life suck so much.
Aya Tsintziras is a freelance lifestyle writer and editor from Toronto, Canada. In addition to writing about dating and relationships for Bolde, she also writes about movies, TV, and video games for ScreenRant and GameRant. She has a Political Science degree from the University of Toronto and a Masters of Journalism from Ryerson University. You can find her on Twitter @ayatsintziras and on Instagram @aya.tsintziras.