I’m Breaking Up With My Worst Habit: You

I’ve got some pretty bad habits: I crack my knuckles, smack my gum, and have a nasty sweet tooth, but my very worst habit is you. We break up and get back together and it’s not doing either of us any good. This is why I’m forcing myself to end the nightmare we have going, no matter how hard it may be:

  1. You bring out the worst in me. We don’t make each other’s lives any better, and we certainly don’t make each other better people. In fact, the more time I spend with you, the more I hate myself. You make me feel bitter, angry and like I’m constantly failing. If I want to grow and be a better person, then I have to be with a man who inspires me to be my best instead of bringing out my worst.
  2. I’m done enabling your bad behavior. The more I put up with your nonsense, the more you thought acting like a complete jerk was totally okay. I’ve let you get away with too much for too long. It’s time for us both to grow up, and the first step in my new life and the new me is getting rid of the same old you.
  3. I’ve finally seen the light. I kept going back to you because I loved you, but I’ve finally realized that love just isn’t enough. My life is better without you in it. I might still have feelings for you, but feelings alone don’t make for a healthy relationship. My love for you can’t fix our problems, and it’s about time I stop believing it will.
  4. Breaking up and getting back together doesn’t work. This has just turned into an endless cycle: we take a break from each other, find our way back, and our problems start all over again. We’re just picking up where we left off. It’s time to break this cycle and end things for good.
  5. I’m doing what’s best for myself. I’m finally putting myself first. I know it’s going to hurt you at first, but I can’t think about that anymore. I can’t keep worrying about the effect my choices will have on you — I have to worry about myself. I need to start thinking about my own well-being and happiness, and the best thing for me is to stop going back to you.
  6. Our problems are only getting bigger. We don’t grow stronger the longer we’re together. We just keep getting weaker and weaker. We’ve tried to ignore our problems for too long. Wishing them away doesn’t fix anything. It’s time that we both finally face the fact that some relationship problems can’t be fixed and the only real solution is to break up for good.
  7. I’m over my bad boy addiction. At some point, I just stopped thinking your act was hot and started thinking it was exhausting. I don’t want to change you or save you — I want a man who’s already good. I’m looking for a finished project rather than a work in progress, and at this rate, you’re never going to be the masterpiece I want.
  8. I’m finally getting my life together. Wasting my time with you is taking the rest of my life off track. This relationship is too much drama and takes up way too much of my time. I can’t keep denying the fact that you hold me back. It’s time for me to pull myself up and grow up, and that starts with you getting out of my life.
  9. I realized that I deserve so much better than you. I deserve a man who doesn’t want to break up every time we disagree. I want a man who brings me joy rather than pain and love rather than deception. I don’t want to shed any more tears. I deserve to be treated right, and now that I know I can’t find that with you, I’m making the decision to look for it somewhere else.
  10. One of us had to do it at some point. We’re not the type of couple that lasts forever, and at one point or another, either you or I had to put an end to this relationship. And well, this is that point. I’m being the bigger person here and doing what’s best for both of us.
Kelsey Dykstra is a freelance writer based in Huntington Beach, CA. She has a bachelor’s degree in Creative Writing from Grand Valley State University and been writing professionally since graduating in 2013. In addition to writing about love and relationships for Bolde and lifestyle topics for Love to Know, she also writes about payment security and small business solutions for PaymentCloud.

Originally from Michigan, this warm weather seeker relocated to the OC just last summer. Kelsey enjoys writing her own fictional pieces, reading a variety of young adult novels, binging on Netflix, and of course soaking up the sun.

You can find more about Kelsey on her LinkedIn profile or on Twitter @dykstrakelsey.