I’m Over Your Commitment Issues — You Need To Figure Out What You Want From Me

You’re afraid of commitment, I get it, but what are you doing to overcome this fear? I thought you just wanted to take things slow, but I’ve given you more than enough time. I’m over your excuses — at this point, you’re either all in or I’m out.

  1. You’ve wasted enough of my time already. We’ve been doing this little non-committal dance for too long now. I’ve given you the time to get over your fear and to feel more comfortable with the idea of settling down, but we’re still standing still. I want to move forward with or without you. We’re not getting any younger and I can’t be patient any longer — it’s now or never.
  2. I’m not happy with the way things are now. I can’t keep going on like this. I need more from you, and if I matter to you, my needs should too. At this point, I don’t feel important in your life and I’m worried I never will be. If you can’t commit then I can’t stay because I won’t give up my happiness for yours.
  3. I shouldn’t have to beg you just to be with me. I shouldn’t even have to ask. You should want to be with me, so why don’t you? There’s something wrong with this picture and the more I think about it, the more I believe that if you won’t commit, it’s because something just isn’t right. Maybe you’re just wrong for me.
  4. I won’t let you take away any more of my self-esteem. This “relationship” is eating away at me. Every day that passes that you don’t want to commit to me makes me feel worse and worse. I wonder what’s wrong with me and why you don’t seem to want to be with me. I’m tired of blaming myself and I’m tired of feeling like I’m not good enough. I won’t let you take my dignity.
  5. I’m ready for a real relationship. I want to settle down. I want a partner. I want someone to call my own. I’m ready for something real and that’s why I’m done with casual. I want to get serious. You knew that’s where this was headed and I’ve given you enough time to get ready. If you’re not ready now, I don’t think you’ll ever be — at least, not with me.
  6. I can’t be with someone who isn’t sure about me. I need a man who’s confident in his feelings for me, not a man who’s constantly back and forth. You shouldn’t wake up and wonder how you feel about me or if you really want to be with me. If you have to ask the question on a daily basis, then the answer is easy. If you really wanted to be with me you wouldn’t have to ask.
  7. You have nothing to be afraid of. Whether or not we commit won’t be the thing to determine whether or not you’re left with a broken heart. Feelings aren’t contained by the parameters you set for our relationship, so what’s the problem? The only reason I can think of as to why you’re still afraid of commitment after all this time is that deep down you already know we’re not right for each other.
  8. I’m tired of acting like your girlfriend when you’re not really my boyfriend. You don’t get to reap all of the benefits for free. If I’m going to act like your girlfriend, then I want a boyfriend in return. I won’t be the only one making an effort. I’m done looking like the fool. Either you want to be my boyfriend or you can’t be in my life at all.
  9. I deserve commitment. At the end of the day, I deserve a man who’s more than willing to go all-in. That’s the kind of love I really want—a man who doesn’t feel burdened by being with me. I want a man who cares just as much about my happiness as his own. I want a man who tries to give me more than he takes. I want a man who wants to commit to me because he wants to be with me day in and day out.
  10. If you’re not interested, just let me go. Do you see me as just a lover, a friend or as the girl of your dreams? It’s time to make up your mind. I need to know whether you’re in or out. I want to know if I have your heart. If you don’t want to be with me, then at this point, it’s time to let me go.
Kelsey Dykstra is a freelance writer based in Huntington Beach, CA. She has a bachelor’s degree in Creative Writing from Grand Valley State University and been writing professionally since graduating in 2013. In addition to writing about love and relationships for Bolde and lifestyle topics for Love to Know, she also writes about payment security and small business solutions for PaymentCloud.

Originally from Michigan, this warm weather seeker relocated to the OC just last summer. Kelsey enjoys writing her own fictional pieces, reading a variety of young adult novels, binging on Netflix, and of course soaking up the sun.

You can find more about Kelsey on her LinkedIn profile or on Twitter @dykstrakelsey.