If you’ve struggled to find a meaningful relationship despite what an amazing catch you are, you’re not alone. It’s easy to blame liars, players, and generally toxic guys for our dating woes, but the truth is, maybe the issue is much bigger than that. You’re not doing anything wrong—it’s this generation as a whole that has a problem.
- So many guys assume strong women don’t need them. Women have always been strong and badass, we’re just more vocal about celebrating those traits now than ever before. This should be a good thing but unfortunately, too many guys are intimidated by our strength and assume that because we’re so self-sufficient, we don’t need or want them. That couldn’t be more wrong.
- We assume everyone loves work more than having a love life. The idea of putting work before love isn’t a new one, but it’s certainly one that’s receiving a lot more coverage than ever before. Sure, some millennials do prefer the career hustle to the dating scene, but that’s certainly not the case for everyone. We can definitely be happy and building amazing lives while being single, but what’s wrong with a little romance?
- We think relationships and sex are synonymous. Hookup culture is rampant, as are one-night stands and FWB arrangements. Sex without commitment is easier to get than ever before, sure, but so are “relationships” that only exist because those involved like the idea of having sex on tap regularly. For the record, you get in a relationship because you love the person, not only because you want to be in bed with him. What’s wrong with the world?
- We have ridiculously high standards. Today’s young people have impossibly high standards when choosing our ideal partners. While it’s definitely a good thing to have some dealbreakers you refuse to compromise on, many of us take this checklist way too seriously way too early. These crazy high standards are definitely one of the many reasons a lot of people whine about failed dates. If we were more willing to give people a chance, we might be pleasantly surprised with the results.
- We have some pretty messed up ideas about love. Dating and relationships are downright insane these days. We get jealous over people we’re not even dating, we act like we’re still single when we’re supposed to be in a relationship, and we walk away at the first sign of trouble rather than toughing it out and working through it. We could all use a lot of work when it comes to building decent relationships.
- We’re still delusional about “The One.” Maybe we grew up reading too many fairytales or we’re spending our adult lives watching too much Netflix (or both), but a lot of today’s young people still can’t seem to understand that there’s not just one perfect person for everyone. There’s no perfect man or woman, and that’s a good thing.
- We think cheating is okay. Believe it or not, a lot of people still think that cheating is okay or are at least willing to overlook it for the sake of staying in the relationship. Plus, sex isn’t the only way to cheat anymore. There are way too many ways to be unfaithful to the person we’re meant to love and we’re doing all of them way too often. The idea of loyalty seems to be too much of a foreign concept to too many of us, and it’s a real shame.
- We don’t want to put in the work. At the end of the day, every relationship, no matter how good it is, takes work. We have to be willing to make an effort if we ever want to develop something real, deep, and long-lasting with another human being. If we want love, we have to be willing to work for it—it’s not just going to be dropped on our laps. Until we start understanding that, dating isn’t going to get any better.