It’s been so long since I dated someone who could cope with his own feelings that I forgot it was possible. I liked to think it was, but for too long, it felt like some lofty dream. Now that I’m finally dating someone who’s emotionally mature, it feels so foreign that I hardly know what to do.
- He actually communicates. I forgot what it’s like to date someone who actually talks to me about everything like it’s no big deal instead of freaking out and/or clamming up all the time. Every time it happens I’m a bit taken aback, to be honest. I hate that I put up with the opposite for so long, but I never met guys who communicated well so I got tired of waiting. I like to think that means I appreciate it more now that I have it.
- He listens when I talk. Not only does he enjoy hearing my stories, he listens, pays attention, and remembers what I say. Whoa, what? I know it’s pathetic that my expectations of men fell so far, but that’s the sad truth. I stayed single forever because I couldn’t find a dude who recalled the important stuff, let alone minor details. Now I’m so excited to have someone care enough to listen that I can’t shut up.
- He actively works to make me happy. Not only does he put in an effort as a human being, he cares about how I feel and how his actions affect me. It’s nice to feel considered for a change. I’ve been with so many guys who meant well but at the same time didn’t really think before they did or said things. In my eyes, the end result matters just as much as the intention. I’m constantly surprised by the dedication this man shows to making me happy every single day.
- He takes feedback and acts on it. Not only do I feel comfortable being completely honest with him, he cares about what I tell him and adjusts his behavior accordingly. It’s freaking incredible. I can’t believe it — it keeps happening and I have a difficult time believing he’s for real. I’m waiting for the other shoe to drop but I sure hope that it doesn’t. I’ve never been with anyone who simply stopped certain behavior once I said it bothered me.
- He broaches uncomfortable subjects before I do. I hate to admit it, but he might be more of an adult than I am. He brings up the tough stuff even before I have a chance to think about where to start. Most guys hate it when I talk about anything awkward at all, but he actually beats me to the punch. It’s bizarre in a great way. I’ve never been with anyone like this and I can still hardly believe it’s happening.
- He shares his feelings. If I do something that upsets him, he lets me know. He’s openly affectionate and compliments me all the time. He tells me how I make him feel in the moment without thinking about it. He talks about his past and his hangups and his flaws. I feel so privileged to be around someone who’s open and emotionally available. It’s so weird for me that I’m still trying to get used to it.
- He’s refreshingly honest. He doesn’t believe in playing games — I’m super glad because I hate that crap! It’s such a waste of time. I didn’t even realize how accustomed I am to men who like to keep me guessing until I met one who doesn’t. He tells me the truth and he has no qualms about revealing himself to me. It takes me by surprise every time, but I love it.
- He allows himself to be vulnerable. I can tell that it’s difficult for him to talk about some issues, but he does it anyway. He’s man enough to go there. I don’t think he even realizes how rare and special that is, but I do. It’s really tough to find a guy who is secure enough in himself to be authentic, genuine, and present in the moment.
- He approaches sex like a responsible adult. He’s careful and conscientious and even more vigilant about using protection than I am. It’s amazing. I’m used to guys either trying to get away with not using a condom at all or simply following my lead like little sheep. Neither is very appealing. There’s nothing sexier than a man who jumps up to grab protection without any nudging needed from me. It still shocks me when he does it.
- He always makes sure my needs are met first. That sounds really dirty, but I mean in all ways! He’s always checking in to see how I’m feeling and what I want. He’s incredibly considerate and he makes sure that I feel cared for and nurtured. It’s truly lovely. I feel very lucky to have met someone so thoughtful and eager to please. It makes a world of difference, even if I don’t know quite how to accept all that attention! I’m not accustomed to it, so sometimes it’s very difficult to just let him do stuff for me. I’m used to taking care of myself all the time.
