I’m Done Dating Bad Boys — Here’s Why

I’m Done Dating Bad Boys — Here’s Why ©iStock/Georgijevic

It used to be that a brooding, angry, and Rebel Without A Cause guy would always get me weak in the knees, but those days are over. I never thought I’d say this but the truth is, I’m sick of bad boy types — here’s why:

  1. They’re too much drama. Bad boys are just too prone to drama. There’s almost always cheating, emotional problems they’re battling, or other weird baggage that gets in the way of me actually enjoying the relationship (and life). I honestly don’t want to be the one who has to deal with that anymore.
  2. They’re usually less intelligent than the good guys. Granted, a large portion of my exes had the intelligence of a ham sandwich, so I’m not sure that this is a good comparison to make. I’m aware that there are plenty of smart guys out there who have a bad streak in them. Even so, it’s nice to know that I can actually talk to my date and assume he knows what I’m talking about.
  3. They’re not the kind of guys you take home to Mom. It’d be nice to take the kind of guy home that she won’t glare at and then encourage me to break up with for once.
  4. They tend to be seriously shallow. They’re obsessed with looking cool, attending parties, having sex with whatever’s breathing near them, and acting out basically every music video on MTV. Though I understand how fun that can be, it gets old. I’d much rather have a guy I can adventure with and also just mellow out with.
  5. They seriously earn the player label. Yep. They tend to check off all the boxes, don’t they? They’re egotistical, they cheat, they have no personality whatsoever, and they preen more than a beauty queen before a pageant begins.
  6. Since they have no goals, they don’t want to commit. Yeah…no thanks. I’m not putting up with that crap anymore. I don’t want to waste my time trying to convince bad boys to get their acts together.
  7. Most bad boys haven’t grown up yet — and I’m not their mom. It took me a while, but I quickly learned that most bad boys  are basically just overgrown “edgy teens.” They act out because they either have serious issues, or because the media just makes it look cool to be a jerk. Bad boys tend to expect women to take care of them because they can’t care for themselves, and unfortunately for them, I’m not their mother. I’d much rather have a guy who’s grown up a bit.
  8. It’s possible to date a man who has bad boy traits, but has a good heart. Is it rare? Absolutely, but I’ve seen guys like this out there. One of them is engaged to my friend. So, maybe I haven’t *fully* gotten over my love of alternative, edgy partners, but at the very least, I’m not actively seeking out losers anymore.
  9. A truly good guy won’t mind a girl with a wild streak in her. My biggest issue was that I believed that “good guys” don’t want to be with a girl who’s been around the block, but the fact is that my belief was totally wrong. After all, whatever partner I end up being with will get to have a truly badass bitch go on adventures with them — and that’s gotta be at least somewhat fun, right?
Ossiana Tepfenhart is a New Jersey based writer and editor with bylines in Mashed, Newsbreak, Good Men Project, YourTango, and many more. She’s also the author of a safe travel guide for LGBTQIA+ people available on Amazon.

She regularly writes on her popular Medium page and posts on TikTok and Instagram @ossianamakescontent.