I’m Done With Guys Who Take Their Sweet Time Before Getting Into A Relationship

Waiting for a guy? Hell no. I have too much going on in my life to sit around hoping he’ll get his act together and figure out what he wants. If he wants to be with me, he’ll know it from the start and he won’t drag his heels on making us official. Here’s why I’m over dudes who just won’t get on with it in relationships:

  1. I don’t want to waste my time. Time is precious and it isn’t going to wait for a guy to make his move, so why should I? I have better things to do than sit around deciphering mixed messages or hoping he’ll have a change of heart and suddenly be sure that he wants to be with me. No thanks.
  2. I don’t want to feel like an option. If he’s taking a long time to make me his GF, then I’m going to worry that he’s got other women on his horizon. I don’t want to be around men who treat me like an option if the others don’t work out. I’m a priority or nothing. It really is that simple.
  3. If he takes his time, he’s not interested enough. I want the kind of guy who meets me, spends time with me and knows how special I am pretty much right off the bat. He wouldn’t dare cut me out of his life because he knows I bring value to it and knows he’s lucky to have me. I want the guy who’s 100% interested in me. I won’t stand for anything less.
  4. If he’s unsure about me now, how can we have a future? If he’s taking long to ask me out as his official girlfriend, then it’s clear he’s not sure about being with me. What will happen when it comes to bigger relationship milestones, like moving in together or even getting engaged? We have no chance of even getting there. I want a guy who knows what he wants. All this slow-mo dating stuff sucks. I won’t hold on just to hear that he’s not looking for a relationship. Screw that.
  5. I want us to hit it off in a big way. It might sound cheesy, but I want the spark. If it’s there, then he’ll want to ask me out officially as soon as possible because a connection like this doesn’t come along every day. I want the guy who knows immediately that he’s into me – in a big way. I don’t want the lukewarm kind of love.
  6. I want the guy who believes in titles.I’m better than that. I don’t have to put up with their inability to commit and I won’t. I want the guy who likes being someone’s boyfriend and who enjoys being in a relationship.
  7. I need to know where I stand. I don’t do well with uncertainty. I like to know exactly what’s happening and where I stand with a guy. I don’t want to stare at my phone, wondering if he’ll call. That’s BS and I don’t want a guy to make me anxious. I want him to show me that he wants me so I only feel the good kind of nerves.
  8. I don’t want to deal with his issues. A guy who takes his time to get into a relationship makes my alarm bells ring. I end up thinking he’s got issues. Maybe he’s got trust issues or he’s just interested in the fun of the chase, or he’s the classic commitment-phobe. Whatever the case, it makes me feel that he’s not suitable BF material.
  9. I want the guy who knows I won’t wait. I want the guy I date to know that I’m a catch, so if he takes his time, someone else will come along and date me. If a guy realizes my worth from early on and that I’m not the type of woman to wait for him or anyone, it means he’ll step up to the plate — and treat me right in the long-term too.
  10. I don’t need him that much. At the end of the day, I don’t need a guy that much. I can do well on my own. If he’s going to be a toxic guy or loser, then it’s best that he leaves my life immediately. But even if he’s the best guy in the world, I won’t wait around for him — my happiness is more important than any guy out there.
Giulia Simolo is a writer from Johannesburg, South Africa with a degree in English Language and Literature. She has been working as a journalist for more than a decade, writing for sites including AskMen, Native Interiors, and Live Eco. You can find out more about her on Facebook and LinkedIn, or follow her on Twitter @GiuliaSimolo.