I’m Done With Guys That Text But Never Call

I don’t disagree that texting can be fun and exciting when you’ve just met someone, but my expectations change when I actually want to date the guy I’m talking to and I need him to actually pick up the phone. If an actual phone call is too much to handle, we’re never going to work out.

  1. Contrary to calling, texting can mean several things. When a guy calls, it’s proof to me that he’s interested. Even if things don’t work out in the long haul, we’ll most likely at least get a coffee together to see if we’re compatible before we go separate ways. Texting, on the other hand, can happen out of boredom, indecisiveness, or just messing around and gauging reactions. There’s just no clear motive to it and it’s lazy AF. I want to know that I’m not wasting my time.
  2. I need a guy who knows what he wants. Unlike calling, texting often sets off a string of pointless back-and-forth communication which doesn’t necessarily result in a single date. Time-wasters like to text because it helps them evade direct questions and avoid commitments, as well as drag things along without anything actually happening. If he picks up the phone and calls me, it’s much more direct and tells me he’s decisive.
  3. A guy who calls shows me he has a life. That’s right—his time is just as precious as mine, and he won’t waste it by exchanging ambiguous text messages. He has other things to do, so when he needs to say something, he just calls and says it. I need a guy who knows how to take charge, not someone who waits around for other people to ask him out.
  4. Texting is the ultimate booty call tool. Feeling horny at 3 a.m. and wanna see who’s around for a booty call? You text your hookup buddy, FWB, whatever. Moreover, guys love to sext when they’re horny and need someone to talk dirty to. Basically, unless a guy is hammered drunk, he would never call me in the middle of the night to ramble about all the things he’d like to do to a woman. In any case, calling shows so much more respect and decency than texting.
  5. Calling is a sign of maturity. And really, it all boils down to how mature a guy is. Calling is an adult thing, and not all guys know how to act like grown-ups. Remember, boys text but men call. I’m not saying he can’t shoot a quick message if he’s somewhere that a phone call isn’t possible, but texting as a primary form of communication is for teenagers, not grown men.
  6. Confident guys aren’t afraid to call. I know lots of people like to text and, frankly, I don’t blame them—it’s easier to write things down than have an actual, live conversation with someone. Calling is a sign of an extroverted personality as well as a positive attitude towards relationships. Moreover, it’s much sexier to call and ask someone out than send a text message that you aren’t even entirely sure the person will read on time.
  7. It just shows me I’m a priority. Let’s not delude ourselves—guys who are really interested won’t hesitate to call. Just like everything else important, a phone call speeds things up and gets the message across. Texting can be flirty and fun too, but if after 3-4 flirty texts he doesn’t call to speak to me, I know he’s just messing around and he isn’t serious about seeing me.
  8. In many cases, calling is evidence someone is 100 percent available.  And by that I don’t just mean officially single, but entirely free from any emotional baggage, “complicated” relationships with others, or in denial about certain casual hookups in their life. Guys who aren’t entirely available like to text because it helps them remain ambiguous and gain time while they’re busy with other things/women in their lives.
  9. All the crappy relationship trends are somehow linked to writing texts and not speaking to each other directly. Breadcrumbing, ghosting, love bombing… many toxic relationship trends wouldn’t exist without our obsession with social media and messaging each other instead of just calling. Imagine what would happen if we didn’t have all those options and we were instead forced to speak to each other every time we had something to say. It would save us from exchanging a ton of BS because no one would ever have the nerve and the energy to give us so much crap over the phone.
  10. I’m more likely to respond in a positive way to a phone call anyway. In any case, a call has more value than a text. Even if I’m still not 100 percent sure I want to go out with a guy, he gets bonus points if he calls to ask me out. If he sends just another “meh” text message, I might not even bother to reply.
  11. I just need clarity, not mixed messages. I’m so done trying to read mixed messages or hidden clues. A text can be interpreted in 10 different ways, but honestly I don’t have the energy for so much ambiguity in my life. He either likes me or he doesn’t. If he’s still not sure, he shouldn’t bother getting in touch in the first place.
Chrisa is a freelance travel and lifestyle journalist who is obsessed with urban life, big cities, and untold stories.