It feels as if I’ve been spending the bulk of my adulthood searching for love and I have nothing yet to show for it except for a disaster of frustrations and disappointments. At a certain point, you have to say “screw it,” throw in the towel and stop going through the same BS. After my last dating blunder, I decided to stop chasing the idea of love and just enjoy my life as it is here and now. I can honestly say that I wish I’d done it sooner, because life has never been better.
- I’m no longer obsessed with dating apps. When I used to find myself bored and alone at home with no plans to go out, I would sit around swiping aimlessly on a sea of faces that might magically lead me to The One. Mostly, it just lead me to rejection, pointless dates and unnecessary players that I wish I’d never met. Now that I’m not glued to my phone and spending my precious energy on a dim lit hope, I’m spending my nights in more productively, like compulsively binge watching Supernatural. Hello, Jensen Ackles!
- I actually enjoy going out socially. I’m actually more pumped to go out with my friends these days because instead of having the mentality that the guy I’m looking for is in my phone in a dating app somewhere, I’m more keen on the idea of serendipity, and believe that a natural connection could happen at any moment.
- Meeting guys in real life feels natural and amazing. It might not happen as often as before, but I do still meet men in real life and it feels way better than the forced chit chat I’m used to online when I was actively looking for a connection. Instead, I feel like it’s a pleasant surprise and even if nothing ever comes of it, it keeps my hope alive that he’s out there.
- I don’t feel rejection the same way. I used to feel completely deflated when I was ghosted or broken up with from a relationship that wasn’t ever even official. I would see those same guys online, still looking while I was trying to figure out why I just wasn’t good enough. Now, I don’t have the time to see any of that crap because it’s not a part of my life. I don’t obsess. I don’t overanalyze. I’m just living again.
- I’m focusing even more on my passions. I have more time to focus on the things that I love and enjoy. Instead of going on another one of a hundred first dates, I’m spending time with the people that matter most. I have more time for my friends, my family, my physical health and doing the things I enjoy, like writing this article, for example.
- I don’t feel like I’m competing anymore. I hated the way I used to feel when I would see a guy I was happily dating still online and perusing other profiles. I’m sick of the mentality that something better is always waiting in the wings. Now, I’m the diamond in the rough that you won’t find on Tinder. You’ll have to actually make genuine effort to get to me, and that feels amazing.
- I’m happy being alone. When I was constantly searching for love and coming up short, it would make my single status feel all the more miserable. When you stop looking for love and allow potential fate to take over, you start becoming truly happy with who and where you are — even if it’s without a relationship.
- I have more energy for those good connections I find. When and if I do meet a new man, I have more energy and good vibes to give out. I’m no longer deflated in my searching, and it’s because I’m no longer searching. I’m letting things happen as they will.
- If it doesn’t happen, I’m fine on my own. In the end, I’ve learned to be truly and completely happy with who I am without love. I no longer torture myself with knowing that I’ve been rejected or the fact that yet another guy has ghosted me. Those things might still happen to me down the road, but I’ll be better equipped to handle them. I’m focusing on me and everything that makes me happy. I’m not looking for love anymore. It might find me one day, and if it doesn’t, I’m already as happy as I can be.