I’m Engaged But I Haven’t Met My Fiance In Person Yet

I used dating apps and websites to look for love for years without success before I met my fiance. He’s everything I’ve always wanted in a guy and I can’t wait to spend the rest of my life with him. There’s just one small problem: we haven’t actually met in person yet.

We know it’s risky but we’ve chosen to trust each other.

We’ve both been burned by long-distance online relationships in the past and it’s not the easiest thing to get over. We know that there’s always a chance that the other person isn’t who they claim to be or that the lack of physical proximity will be a deal breaker in the end, but those are chances we’re willing to take. Who cares if people judge us or are skeptical of our relationship? We believe in it and that’s all that matters.

Nobody’s perfect but he really is perfect for me.

 We share interests, faith, values, career aspirations, the list goes on and on. We complement one another in ways that always make our late night conversations and Skype sessions interesting and almost endless. He stimulates my mind in ways no other guy ever has and he makes me feel like I’m on top of the world. If he’s not my perfect match, who is?

Despite the 15-hour time difference, we still make it work.

 When he’s going to bed, I’m having lunch; when I wake up in the morning, he’s going to sleep. Because of the many time zones between us, we have to schedule time to catch up and keep our relationship going strong. Sometimes this can be difficult as we’re both busy people with a lot on our plates. Still, we love each other enough to make sure we’re in regular contact so we can catch up on each other’s lives and continue to plan ours together.

I can talk to him about literally anything.

We can talk about boring topics like the weather or the big things like faith and the nature of the universe. Conversation is never forced and I never have to worry that I’m boring him or that he’d rather be doing anything else than talking to me. Our rapport is so natural and it’s something I’ve never experienced with anyone else.

We’ve taken time away from each other to make sure this is what we want.

There was a point when we needed time away from each other and decided to take a break from chats and emails. It sucked since these are the things that make our relationship possible and I was afraid I’d lose him completely. However, it actually made us realize how much we love each other and how strong our connection is. It takes a lot of courage, loyalty, trust, and faith to be in a long-distance relationship and we have all of those qualities in spades.

We try to find ways to bond online.

The worst part of not living in the same place is that we can never go out on dates or watch movies together like most couples do. Instead, we have to find ways to bond and share memories online. We play games, share music, and stream movies simultaneously so it feels like we’re doing it together. It’s not the same as hanging out in person but it keeps our relationship going until we actually can.

Our online relationship prepares us for actually being together.

As well as we get along, we still have our disagreements. We come from totally different cultures and therefore have a lot of different opinions and habits, so we’re not always totally in sync. Instead of letting that tear us apart, we use it as an opportunity to broaden our horizons and appreciate one another more. After all, if I can’t handle his assertiveness in verbal debates online, how can I learn to live with him? If he can’t handle how emotional and irrational I can sometimes be from afar, how will he cope when it’s right in front of him?

He’s not just my romantic partner, he’s my best friend too.

If I’ve had a terrible day at work, he’s my go-to person when I need to vent. If I have an achievement I’m happy about, I can’t wait to share it with him. It sucks that we can’t hug and kiss each other during these ups and downs, but what keeps us going is knowing that the distance is only temporary and that we’re both working to bridge that physical gap in the near future.

We use our time apart to grow individually towards our common goals.

We take advantage of the distance between us by using it to accomplish our individual goals and make sure that our foundation for a shared life is ready. Between us, we’re finishing graduate studies, saving and paying off debts, and trying to establish careers. These are things that would be hard for us to do if we decided to just drop everything and get married right now. Working towards being together while making sure that we don’t give up on our personal goals will ensure our in-person relationship is even better.

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