I’m A Feminist, But I Still Have Some Traditional Values

I’m a feminist and I’m not afraid to let people know that. I believe in equality for men and women and I believe that everyone should have the same opportunities no matter their gender. That being said, I also believe in some traditional values when it comes to romance and relationships — and this doesn’t make me any less of a feminist.

  1. I want equality, not superiority. Feminists get a bad wrap for women hating men, wanting to become superior, and believing that we don’t need men around at all. Some feminists think this way, for sure, but those women are very few and far between and I’m definitely not one of them. I just want to be equal. I want to have a successful career and I want to have the same opportunities that men have. I don’t want to throw men to the side or be above them. I love and respect men — I just want to be seen as an equal partner.
  2. I still want a man to work hard. I’m all about equality in the workplace and in society and I believe everyone should have the same opportunities. This means that I want to get paid as much as a man if we do the same job. This doesn’t mean that I expect to make more money or be the sole bread winner in a relationship. I still want my guy to work hard and have a career. To me, a man who works hard is sexy.
  3. Life isn’t always black and white. Being a feminist doesn’t mean that I don’t believe in traditional values and I shouldn’t have to choose between the two. I can believe in both things without compromise but sometimes not without judgment. I want to be able to do a load of laundry and cook for my partner while still being able to hold down a successful career.
  4. I still expect romance. Feminism doesn’t mean that romance is dead. I still want the candlelit dinners and receiving flowers on special occasions. These little romantic gestures don’t endorse gender roles, they endorse effort. I want the person I’m with to make an effort, and I’ll do the same in return.
  5. I want a man to pursue me. In this day in age, it’s totally normal for women to ask men out. I have no problem doing that, but I still enjoy being pursued. It feels nice knowing someone is interested in me and that they’re willing to go after what he wants. I don’t see this as old-fashioned, though some people might disagree. I’m not afraid to be strong and powerful, and that’s how guys should feel too — not undermined or nervous to approach me fear that I’ll bash him just for being a man.
  6. I appreciate respectful gestures. I’m not going to be offended and make a snappy comment if a guy holds a door open for me or lets me walk in front of him. I would feel the same way if a woman did this for me. I don’t know when gestures like this started being seen as rude and chauvinistic, I simply see them as polite, gentlemanly gestures and there’s nothing wrong with that. I would much rather have someone show respect than be rude, regardless of their gender.
  7. I want to get married one day. Yes, marriage is a traditional thing, but so what? I still want it. I want the whole shebang from start to finish — a man getting down on one knee, a party to celebrate our love with our friends, and a kiss to seal the deal. I also believe that marriage is a one-time deal, not a casual thing that can be voided by a lawyer when we get bored of it.
  8. I want to be a mother and have a family. There can be balance for women who work hard and have a career while also having a family. It’s important for a mother to be with her child, and I plan to do this for a few years while taking off work. So what if I put my kids before my job? That makes me a good mother, not weak or lazy, and it definitely doesn’t make me any less of a feminist. It doesn’t mean that I’m not career driven, it means that I care about the way my child is brought up. I can have both.
  9. I really don’t mind doing some house work. It’s not that bad. I love cooking for my boyfriend, keeping our place looking nice, and entertaining guests. I do these things because I enjoy them, not because I feel like I have to or that’s my role. I don’t think this makes me any less of a feminist. I’m part of a couple and as such, we share responsibilities, and that includes household chores.
  10. I love men. I work well with men, I have mostly guy friends, and I choose men as my romantic partners. I don’t hate them, I don’t think they’re terrible people, and I certainly don’t think women are above them. I have no problem challenging them, winning against them, or losing to them. We’re equally awesome, and it’s not hard for me to see that.
Writer, athlete, explorer, animal lover.