I’m A Feminist But I Still Want A Guy To Do These 12 Things When We’re Dating

I am a proud feminist and I’m completely self-sufficient, but when it comes to dudes, I still expect a certain amount of chivalry. I want to be adored and doted upon, and I love when a guy behaves like a true gentleman—what’s wrong with that? Here are 12 old-fashioned gestures I’d still like a guy to make if he wants to date me.

  1. Pay For My Meal. Yeah, I can totally pay for myself and I definitely will in future, but at the beginning, I see no reason why a guy can’t pony up for dinner once or twice. I’d more than appreciate a guy who offers—or better yet, one who insists.
  2. Hold The Door Open. I hold doors open for people all the time, male and female. It’s just polite. And yes, I can open the door for myself at a restaurant or coffee shop, but I like it when the guy I’m dating does it. There’s just some kind of charm in that action that gets me. He’s just trying to make things easier for me and I think that’s sweet and considerate as hell.
  3. Offer Me His Arm. I find this gesture unbearably adorable. I can clear the gap getting off a train or walk down some steep steps in my heels just fine—I’m a very balanced person—but how cute when he offers to take your arm and help? It’s straight out of a 1950s movie, which may not appeal to some people but it does to me.
  4. Be Protective. I’m not anyone’s property or a prize to be won, and there’s a huge difference between being a little protective and getting jealous or intrusive of your privacy. However, I like when a guy knows I’m not easy to get and he’s proud to be with me. I like it when a guy gets a little territorial. It means he really cares about me and wants to make sure I stay his.
  5. Slow Dance With Me. What happened to facing each other when dancing?? I hate this my-back-to-his-front nonsense—it’s sweaty and gross. I went to a wedding this fall with my boyfriend and we actually danced together, including holding hands, and twirling, and dipping. It was more fun than I’ve ever had dancing in a club and way more romantic.
  6. Make The First Move. If I want a guy and he’s being really slow to catch on, by all means, I go for it. There’s nothing wrong with that at all, but I do think guys should have the courage to be able to make the first move. I want to feel wanted and if a guy is bold enough to dive in, it’s all the more attractive.
  7. Call, Don’t Text. Everyone communicates through texting now—that’s just how it is. If I see someone is calling me, I’m either convinced something terrible happened or I ignore the call and text them instead. The exception here is for a guy I’m interested in. I love it when he calls. It shows maturity because there’s nothing to hide behind. It means he wants to hear my voice, and there’s something so much sexier about talking over the phone than reading a message.
  8. Buy Me Random Flowers. It’s such an underused move. Sure, I might get flowers on an anniversary or Valentine’s Day, but what about first date flowers, or flowers just because I’m awesome and he appreciates me? It should really be a more common thing because there’s plenty to celebrate. Bring back the flowers, guys!
  9. Write Me A Note. Aside from the fact that people rarely call anymore, what about writing letters or simply just jotting down a little note? If a guy documents a few kind thoughts to me, it’s a little piece of love I can hold onto forever and something I can always look back on later. It’s silly and romantic and it only takes a few minutes. Why not?
  10. Give Me Genuine Compliments. This is probably the easiest thing a guy can do, and something he should do often. Just one small compliment can go a long way. Personally, I love when a guy says he had a fun time with me or thinks I’m funny. Those things stick in my brain and make me feel even better about myself.
  11. Take Me Someplace Nice. I’m a very easygoing person—date night in for me is ideal. If we go out, I enjoy going to the movies or grabbing some burgers. However, every now and then I like to go some place nice where you actually have to dress up. It’s nice to look especially good for each other now and then and to enjoy some of the finer things in life.
  12. Make All The Plans. I want a guy to take charge here. If he’s indecisive, he can get over it. I’m a boss in every other area in my life. In relationships, I want him to make the plans so I can just go along for the ride. Somewhere along the way, I think guys got extremely lazy and stopped being creative in this sense. I like a guy who can step up and show me a good time.
Hi all!

My name is Chaeli. I am a recent grad of UMass Amherst. I received my Bachelor of Arts degree in English. I enjoy traveling, large fluffy dogs, and eating in bed. I also love hanging with my ladies and writing, so I am stoked to be a part of Bolde!