I’m Happy With My Boyfriend, But I Can’t Help But Wonder If Someone Better Is Out There

I’m the kind of girl who always thinks the grass is greener on the other side, especially when it comes to relationships. I love my boyfriend, I really do, but sometimes I find myself dreaming of a life with someone else.

  1. He’s not perfect. This man of mine is amazing. He’s patient, kind, sensitive to my emotions, and would never do anything to hurt me. I light up inside when I look at his face. However, there are little bitty things that just irk me sometimes and I’m not sure if that’s just the way love is or if there’s someone out there who can be a perfect 10 in all categories. He’s not perfect and I always catch myself wondering if there’s someone else out there who is.
  2. Everyone says I’m out of his league. It doesn’t make me love him any less, but when we’re out in public, I know people think that I’m the more attractive one. Hell, I’m pretty sure he thinks it too. I’m not one to judge people on outer appearances — in fact, I preach on the regular that it’s what’s on the inside that counts. However, I sometimes catch myself taking a second glance at the hot guy who walks by, and maybe it’s because that’s the kind of guy I actually deserve. Just a little food for thought.
  3. I’m happy, but I could be happier. Yes, my boyfriend makes me happy… but what do I know about happiness? What if I could be happier and I just don’t know it? I mean, I don’t just want to be “content” with my boyfriend — I want to be ecstatic. I want to be over the moon. I want to be head over heels, can’t speak, can’t sleep in LOVE with him. Perhaps I’m with the wrong person…
  4. The prospect of dating someone new makes me more excited than dating my boyfriend long-term. I’m all about the novelty, especially when it comes to relationships. Is it wrong that I would be super excited to go on a date with a random stranger? Maybe even more excited than I would be if my boyfriend proposed? I don’t know if this is because I’m with the wrong person or because I’m just meant to be single
  5. I don’t really know what I want in a partner yet. Maybe my need to explore possibilities with other guys is because I don’t know for sure what kind of guy I even like! My boyfriend is nice and funny and cute and perfectly fine — but I don’t think I’ve had the opportunity to really get to know my preferences in a man. I want to sample the whole menu, not just get whatever has the lowest price.
  6. I’m scared I’ll miss out on meeting my soulmate. Yes, I believe in soulmates, and every now and then I’ll be talking with a guy (who isn’t my boyfriend) and think, “Damn, I really connect with you, I wish I could actually act on this”. I just know that there’s a perfect match out there for me and something deep down inside myself tells me that it’s not my current boyfriend.
  7. Spring is coming.Spring is the season of love. Flowers start sprouting up, we start showing more skin, and the sun comes out to inspire us to love again. I love having a solid partner in the winter to cuddle up to, but spring to me is all about possibilities and newness — can you blame a girl for dreaming of a fresh start?
  8. I’m a huge idealist when it comes to relationships. I have an all or nothing kind of attitude when it comes to relationships. If it’s not 100 percent perfect, I don’t do well. My mind will start instantly thinking of all the guys I could be with who probably wouldn’t have caused me to feel hurt, angry, sad or whatever the emotion was that he caused me to feel. To me, love should be perfect — and it rarely is with my current partner.
  9. There’s no harm in just looking. I’m not doing anything wrong by just thinking about being with other guys as long as I don’t act on it. It’s all just a possibility. At the end of the day, I just want to be with the right person, and I’m not so naive to think that it’s gotta be the person I’m with at the moment.
  10. If I was truly happy in my relationship, then I wouldn’t wonder, would I? The fact that I’m even considering being with other people besides my boyfriend is a clear sign that I’m not as happy as I can be in my current relationship. Maybe it’s a good thing that I don’t get blinded by love. If anything, it’ll keep my chances of finding the perfect partner that much higher.
Jennifer is a playwright, dancer, and theatre nerd living in the big city of Toronto, Canada. She studied Creative Writing at Concordia University and works as a lifestyle writer who focuses on Health, B2B, Tech, Psychology, Science, Food Trends and Millennial Life. She's also a coreographer, playwright, and lyricist, with choreography credits for McMaster University’s “Spring Awakening,” “Roxanne” for the Guelph Contemporary Dance Festival, and “The Beaver Den” for The LOT, among others.

You can see more of her work on her Contently page and follow her on Instagram @jenniferenchin.