I’m Happy That My Ex Found Love — I Just Wish I Found It First

My ex and I are totally over each other and we’ve both moved on to bigger and better things. There’s just one little problem: he has a new girlfriend already. I know it’s not a race and I’m happy that he’s found love again — I just wish I’d found it first.

  1. We just weren’t right for each other. I know that now. I may not have been happy about the breakup, but I have perspective now and I realize that we just weren’t right for each other. We’re meant for other people. I’m happy he found the woman he’s meant to be with, but I have to admit, I wish I found my Mr. Right first.
  2. He deserves love, but I think I deserved it more. No matter how awful he was to me at times, I think everyone deserves love. When we were together, though, I was ready for love and he wasn’t. I appreciated him and he took me for granted. I definitely thought he deserved to find love someday, but only after he figured his life out and go his act together. I deserved it then and I deserve it now, so why did he get to find it first?
  3. He was horrible to me in the end but I don’t hate him. I don’t want to carry that kind of anger around with me. I forgive him for everything that he did to me — not for him, but for myself. I don’t hate him and I think he deserves love, but not yet. Not before the woman (me) that he put through hell finds love first.
  4. He said he wanted to experience the single life. He wasn’t interested in a real relationship anymore. He wanted to be free and explore the single life. I was the one who was ready to settle down, so what happened? He’s free to move on and do whatever with whoever he wants, but if he was the one who wanted the single life, why is he in love while I’m all alone?
  5. Watching him move on would be so much easier if I could do the same. I’m over him. The love is gone and I have no desire to be with him anymore, but that doesn’t make watching him move on easy. It makes me jealous, but not because I want him back. I don’t want him, I just want a boyfriend. I want love and if I had it, it wouldn’t hurt so badly to see that he’s in love with someone else.
  6. I’m the relationship girl. I was his only serious relationship ever. I’m the one who really wants to find “The One.” I’m the one who believes in true love. He was fine with hookup culture but I never was, so why am I stuck in the single life while my commitment-phobe ex has found love? I thought he’d get to the finish line eventually, but I have no idea how he passed me.
  7. His life is still in shambles and he needs to grow up. My life is together. It’s been together. I know his life is still a mess, so why does he get that kind of happiness now? It’s just not fair. Yes, I know that life isn’t fair, but knowing that doesn’t make this situation any easier. If he’s still figuring out the rest of his life, then why does he get love now while I’m stuck here ready and waiting?
  8. I want my happily ever after so I can stop thinking about him. I’d honestly forgotten all about him. I put that relationship in the past, but seeing him move on before me made all those feelings of heartbreak come rushing back. I don’t miss him, but I do miss having a relationship. I was content before, but now I feel anxious and worried that while he’s moving on, I’m barely moving forward.
  9. Now I know he’s really over me. It’s nice to be desired, loved, and wanted. I can’t deny that it was good to feel like he might still have those feelings for me, but now I know he doesn’t. We broke up a while ago, yes, but now it feels more finalized. I’m officially a part of his past. He’s living a new life and our life together is completely over.
  10. The truth is, I want what he has. He’s found love and that’s exactly what I want. I’m happy that he found love and that he’s happy, but don’t I deserve happiness too? He broke my heart but he has no consequences? He just moves straight into happily ever after while I’m stuck in the single life? We both deserved to find love at some point, but deep down I really believe that I deserved to find it first.
Kelsey Dykstra is a freelance writer based in Huntington Beach, CA. She has a bachelor’s degree in Creative Writing from Grand Valley State University and been writing professionally since graduating in 2013. In addition to writing about love and relationships for Bolde and lifestyle topics for Love to Know, she also writes about payment security and small business solutions for PaymentCloud.

Originally from Michigan, this warm weather seeker relocated to the OC just last summer. Kelsey enjoys writing her own fictional pieces, reading a variety of young adult novels, binging on Netflix, and of course soaking up the sun.

You can find more about Kelsey on her LinkedIn profile or on Twitter @dykstrakelsey.