I’m A Homebody And I Want A Guy Who Is Too

Going out is fun and all, but I love being at home. I like reading, playing games, watching TV and movies, and generally just chilling out in the comfort of my own space. I’m a homebody and when it comes to dating, I need a guy who is too.

  1. I need someone who wants the same lifestyle as I do. I want to know that we’re headed down the same path. I don’t want to date for a while and then realize that we want different things. He wants a life that’s all about going out while I value time spent at home with loved ones or even by myself? Nope. If we don’t mesh together when it comes to how we spend the majority of our time then I just don’t think having two very different lifestyles can work.
  2. I’m an introvert at heart. Technically I’m an extroverted introvert so I come off as outgoing but too much social time exhausts me. That’s why I’d rather stay in than go out. I like being social, but only to an extent. I also value one-on-one time over group hangs or parties. I need to be with someone who doesn’t need a constant crowd and instead enjoys just being with me.
  3. I want a guy who can be cool with just hanging out. I don’t like to always be on the go. I need my down time. I’m not the girl a guy should date if he always needs to be doing something. I don’t want to eat out every night. I don’t want to spend every weekend on the road. We don’t have to have something specific to do just to be together and I need a guy who can understand that.
  4. I like living on a budget. I’m a smart girl who’s thinking about the future. I want to start saving now and not put my finances off until later. Going out all the time is expensive AF. Cooking at home and staying in for the night is a hell of a lot cheaper. People always on the go spend a lot of money. I don’t want to be able to just have fun during my 20s but enjoy every decade after without the worry of being strapped on cash as well.
  5. I’m not going to change who I am for a guy. I just don’t think I could handle being with someone who’s my opposite on this point. I’d feel like I would have to conform to his way of life in order to make things better or else we’d rarely see each other. I like being me and as long as I stay active, healthy, and social from time to time, I don’t think there’s anything wrong with being a homebody.
  6. I want a man who will want to spend time at home with his family. I want kids someday and I want to have those kids with a devoted husband. I don’t want to be home alone with them while their dad’s constantly out because he can’t stand to just chill at home. Someday, I want to spend my weekends bonding with my kids and their father, not over-using a babysitter.
  7. I’m ready to settle down. I’ve had a great time living the single life, but I’m past that. I’m over going out all the time, especially since I prefer being at home anyway. That’s why I need a man who’s over that part of his life too. I want to be on the same page — ready for something serious and ready to settle down. I’m over playing the field. I just want the game to be over so I can go home.
  8. I want a future with someone who’s actually going to be there. If I spend most of my time at home but he wants to be constantly on the go, then we’re going to be spending the majority of our relationship apart. I’m not saying we need to spend every second of every day together, but I also don’t want to be alone all the time. I just want someone who for the majority of the time will be right there next to me.
  9. I want to be with a guy who actually understands me. Not a lot of people “get” homebodies. People who aren’t homebodies see us a certain way. They think of us as boring couch potatoes with no social lives, but that’s not the case. I don’t want to spend all my time away from home and I want a guy who can understand that without judging me because he’s the same way too.
  10. We can have fun no matter what. I see too many relationships where it’s all about going on dates — drinking, eating, adventure, but no time to just enjoy each other’s basic company. I want to be with someone who can have a good time when we’re doing absolutely nothing. Just talking with me and being with me should be enough because when we put everything else aside, that’s how I think we’ll figure out if we’re really right for each other.
Kelsey Dykstra is a freelance writer based in Huntington Beach, CA. She has a bachelor’s degree in Creative Writing from Grand Valley State University and been writing professionally since graduating in 2013. In addition to writing about love and relationships for Bolde and lifestyle topics for Love to Know, she also writes about payment security and small business solutions for PaymentCloud.

Originally from Michigan, this warm weather seeker relocated to the OC just last summer. Kelsey enjoys writing her own fictional pieces, reading a variety of young adult novels, binging on Netflix, and of course soaking up the sun.

You can find more about Kelsey on her LinkedIn profile or on Twitter @dykstrakelsey.