I’m attractive, have a great personality, and am probably one of the most loyal and genuine people you’ll ever meet — and I know I’m not the only woman out there that’s a great catch. So why exactly aren’t we getting hit on? I don’t know about you, but I’ve tried to look at my own behavior to figure out what’s up, and here’s what I’ve come up with — maybe you’ll relate:
- I don’t make eye contact. Just the other night, I was out at the grocery store and spotted a cute guy walking towards me. I quickly made eye contact, smiled, then looked away until he passed me. Why didn’t he stop me right then and there and ask me out? (OK, I wasn’t really expecting that but really why not?) While I made eye contact, it was so brief that he probably didn’t even notice. Or if he did, my quick look-away probably told him that I was either not interested or unapproachable. For the record, I’m neither.
- I’m not confident enough. I’ll admit that there are some days that I’m not as confident as I usually am. Whatever the reason for it, guys pick up on this insecurity and probably want to avoid it like that plague. That doesn’t mean there’s anything wrong with me or I’m not allowed to have feelings, obviously, but how’s some random guy supposed to know how amazing I am?
- I don’t know how to flirt. Through my subtle hints of flirting (trying to catch his eye, laughing, and showing off my smile), I realize that I’m not being obvious enough. Not that I want to bend and snap like Elle Woods, but I need to step up my flirting game. Flirting 101, here I come.
- My body language is off. I LOVE crossing my arms, mostly because I’m usually freezing. But what I don’t realize is that this arm crossing actually shows discomfort, which can be portrayed as uninterested. This goes for every interaction we have in life, but especially romantic ones.
- I don’t smile. While I’m usually always smiling (or laughing), there are times when I’m out and not smiling. I mean, do I constantly want sore cheeks from smiling all the time? Obviously not, and I don’t owe it to anyone to have a vapid grin pasted on my face at all times. But seriously, I’m working on my resting face to make sure it doesn’t look too bitchy.
- I’m wearing a ring on my ring finger. Whoops, was I pretending to be engaged and accidently left that ring on my finger? This actually rarely happens, but as soon as a guy sees that ring bling, he won’t be asking me out anytime soon. Unless, of course, he wants to get into a potential fist fight.
- I go out and about with too many friends or family. Who do I go out with? Either at least three of my besties or my mom. Pretty sure no guy is going to come up to me with my mom by my side, nor is a guy going to approach me when I’m in the center of my group of girlfriends. Living on the edge (or not being in the center of the group) can have its advantages, ladies.
- I’m always on my phone. I’m just stalking my latest friends engagement pictures and checking my social media feeds, but to guys it probably looks like I’m either not having fun or I’m temporarily disconnected from the world.
- I’m too dressed up. Red lipstick, heels, and a nice top is my go-to going out outfit. However, when I meet up with my yoga pants-wearing friends (all who happen to have significant others, by the way), I look extremely out of place. I also look like I’m trying way too hard. While my friends may never opt-up for jeans, maybe I will have better luck wearing a sweat shirt (sans Chinese food and cat hair, of course).