I’m an Independent Woman, But I Should Still Be Able to Depend on You

I’m not a girl who needs a boyfriend. If I’m with someone, it’s because I want to be, not because I need to be. However, If I’m going to let a guy into my busy and already full life, I need someone who’s in it 100% just like I am. I’m an independent woman, but I still want to be able to depend on the man I’m with. Here’s why that’s a must-have for me in love:

  1. I need a shoulder I can lean on. I’m strong, but that doesn’t mean I never have moments of weakness. I have times where I need someone else in my life that I can turn to when everything feels overwhelming or hard to bear on my own. That doesn’t mean I’m not independent, it just means I’m human. I’m not perfect. We all need someone by our side sometimes, and all I want is for you to be there when I do.
  2. Dependable and trustworthy are one in the same. If I can’t depend on you, how am I supposed to be able to trust you? If you say you’re going to be there, then really be there. I need to be able to trust you to love me. I need to be able to trust you to care. Finally, I need to be able to trust that you’ll always be there. If I can’t do that, then really, what’s the point of us being together?
  3. I want us to be a team. I want us to be in this together. I can’t be fighting for a man who’s not fighting for me or even with me. I want someone I can turn to when life gets hard and I want to be that person for you. I don’t want to fight this battle alone. Being in a healthy relationship just makes life easier. I won’t stop being independent, but I’ll be comforted by the fact that I know I can depend on you.
  4. Depending on you doesn’t mean you’re my sugar daddy. I’ll still be providing for myself. I won’t be financially or emotionally dependent on you, but I will expect you to be there when I do need you. Every now and then I’m going to need some support. I’m going to need someone who can listen. I don’t think that’s too much to ask.
  5. I’m strong on my own, but we’re stronger together. As the old saying goes, two heads are better than one. I’m fine with being on my own, but that doesn’t mean I don’t want a partner. I want someone to spend my life with. That might sound scary to you, but only if you’re not mature enough to be with me. I’m okay with being single, but I find more strength and enjoyment in having someone by my side.
  6. You’ll depend on me just as much. That’s what a relationship is all about, being there for each other. Doesn’t that sound nice—having someone you can count on? That’s all I want and I’m more than willing to give you the same in return. We’ll both be able to depend on each other. At the end of the day, we’ll be true partners.
  7. I’m not carrying all the weight in a relationship. I’ll make an effort. I’ll do my share of the work, but I won’t do yours too. It’s not fair if I’m always there for you and you’re never there for me. Why should I stand by your side if you’re never on my side? I’m not afraid to work for a relationship, but I refuse to do all the work.
  8. If you care about me, you should want to be there for me. Just because I’m a strong independent woman, doesn’t mean you get to slack off in the boyfriend department. I may not be high maintenance, but I’m not a free ride. I want a boyfriend who actually tries because I’ll always try for you. If I mean anything to you then I’ll be able to depend on you, and if not, then I’m still independent enough to be on my own.
  9. I may not need you, but that doesn’t mean I don’t want you. There’s a difference. If you chose to walk out that door, it would hurt like hell, but I would be okay. I don’t need you to survive, but I do want you in my life. Why? Well, because I love you, and you know what else I love? The fact that you love me. It feels good to have someone care, and nothing about that makes me any less independent.
  10. If I can’t depend on you, then I might as well just be single. What’s the point in being with a man who’s not fully committed? I’m not going to give up the glory of my single life for a guy who’s only going to show up when he feels like it. This relationship isn’t on your terms. You don’t get to be a boyfriend whenever it’s convenient for you. If you want to be in my life then I have to be able to depend on you 100% of the time.
  11. I know what I deserve. I’m a strong woman who has survived heartbreak and could survive it again. That means I won’t settle for a man who doesn’t treat me right. Loving you isn’t enough. I need to be able to depend on you, and if you can’t understand that, then I won’t be afraid to take my strength and independence and just walk away.
Kelsey Dykstra is a freelance writer based in Huntington Beach, CA. She has a bachelor’s degree in Creative Writing from Grand Valley State University and been writing professionally since graduating in 2013. In addition to writing about love and relationships for Bolde and lifestyle topics for Love to Know, she also writes about payment security and small business solutions for PaymentCloud.

Originally from Michigan, this warm weather seeker relocated to the OC just last summer. Kelsey enjoys writing her own fictional pieces, reading a variety of young adult novels, binging on Netflix, and of course soaking up the sun.

You can find more about Kelsey on her LinkedIn profile or on Twitter @dykstrakelsey.