I’m A Jealous Girlfriend & I Can’t Seem To Stop Myself

Dating can feel like hell when you’re the type of girl who gets jealous easily. I’ve tried to fight it my whole life, but it still plagues my relationships. Here are just some of the struggles I go through as a super jealous partner:

  1. I compare myself to literally every girl he speaks to. Whether it’s the waitress at our usual date spot or my best friend, I can’t help but obsessively compare myself to whatever girl he’s speaking to. He’s probably just being polite, but just the fact that he came into contact with another woman who’s as pretty or prettier than me is enough to unleash the green monster within.
  2. I pretend to be okay when he hangs out with other girls, but I’m really not. He tells me that he’s gonna catch up with a friend later, and when I find out it’s his old “friend” from college who also happens to be a girl, I can’t help but get extremely anxious about it.
  3. I assume the worst when he hasn’t contacted me in 24 hours. If I haven’t heard from him in a suspiciously long time, I’ll automatically assume he’s found someone better than me. I even get jealous when there’s no woman involved. I have no problem imagining all the beautiful women he’s eyeing up instead of me — and now I’ve totally stressed myself out over something I’ve made up in my mind.
  4. I ask him how he feels about me — a lot. As a girl who isn’t totally sure where she stands, asking how he feels about me is a regular occurrence. I’m constantly wondering if he is still attracted to me, so I do everything I can to calm my worries. This makes me a little clingy, but it’s just something I have to do.
  5. I’m a big fan of PDA. I want the world to know that he’s mine, so I make sure the PDA is on full blast. I generally love being close to my partner for personal reassurance, but it’s also a way to make sure that girl who’s eyeing him down knows that he’s taken.
  6. I tend to move quickly in relationships. If I like a guy, I want him to know ASAP just in case I get replaced by some other chick who’s prettier/more successful/all around better than me. I also just really like him, and don’t want anything or anyone to get in the way.
  7. I constantly feel like I’m going to lose him. To him our relationship is great, but to me, it’s a roller coaster. My mind will go a mile a minute the second he talks to another girl, and I’m legitimately scared I’m going to lose him. After it’s over I know he’s here to stay, but in the moment, I get totally freaked out.
  8. I resent him for the smallest things. I might just see him texting on his phone or liking the photo of a friend. He means nothing harmful by it, but I see it in a different way. I’m seeing all the possibilities — he could be texting his ex for all I know! Man, being jealous is exhausting AF.
  9. I’m constantly trying to talk myself out of my jealous feelings. Once the jealousy hits, it’s hard to get rid of it. I’ve come up with some techniques to make it go away, like seeing the similarities between me and the other girl or trying to think about attractive traits in myself, but it doesn’t always work.
  10. I’m afraid he’ll break up with me because of it. I’m starting to get the feeling that he’ll eventually resent me for being so suspicious of him. It’s taking everything in my power not to act on my jealous feelings, but I don’t know how long I’ll be able to hold them in.
  11. I’ve realized that it all starts with me. I know that when it comes down to it, it’s all because I don’t fully accept myself, and I assume that he doesn’t either. It’s going to take some time to get over my jealous streak, and it’s definitely not going to be easy.
Jennifer is a playwright, dancer, and theatre nerd living in the big city of Toronto, Canada. She studied Creative Writing at Concordia University and works as a lifestyle writer who focuses on Health, B2B, Tech, Psychology, Science, Food Trends and Millennial Life. She's also a coreographer, playwright, and lyricist, with choreography credits for McMaster University’s “Spring Awakening,” “Roxanne” for the Guelph Contemporary Dance Festival, and “The Beaver Den” for The LOT, among others.

You can see more of her work on her Contently page and follow her on Instagram @jenniferenchin.