My boyfriend is amazing in so many ways but I have to admit that I wish he was more romantic. For me, it’s all about the little things and he just doesn’t get it.
- I’m a hopeless romantic through and through. It’s true and I think movies have ruined relationships for me forever. I expect life to be like a rom-com and when it doesn’t all come together the way it does in the movies, I can’t help but feel disappointed. The rational part of my brain knows that life isn’t a film but my ego says I deserve it even if it doesn’t exist. I always make a big effort to surprise him with romantic gestures when he’s least expecting it but I’m finding it hard to keep it up without receiving them in return.
- It’s especially important to me at Christmas and birthdays. If he could only just be romantic on the special days, I’d probably be content with that. Alas, I’ve had no such luck. I’m a very hard person to buy a gift for so I have no problem telling him what I want when he asks me. I’m also a very practical person so for my birthday last year he bought me office furniture and last Christmas I got a printer. Neither of these things is very romantic but they are what I wanted. I could have asked for a piece of jewelry, but it’s not the gift I’d like to be romantic, more just the situation and the occasion. For my birthday this year, he spent a lot of money on renting a cottage in the countryside but it was me who had to organize the whole thing and do the research for it. Because he spent so much money on the weekend, it made it hard to tell him that I was disappointed he didn’t get me a card.
- He hates Valentine’s Day and has to be reminded of the date every year. He thinks Valentine’s Day is just a money-making holiday and I know he’s right. But who cares? It’s a day we get to spoil each other and remind one another of how much love we have. Last Valentine’s Day, we didn’t do anything. I didn’t get a card or flowers or chocolates. He thought it was OK because he was taking us to New York the next month. I wish he would understand it’s not about spending money on things—write me a poem or massage my feet, dude. It’s free!
- I’m worried if he proposes, it won’t be the romantic gesture I envision. My biggest fear is that if he proposes, I’ll be annoyed it isn’t special enough. If there’s any point in my life I want him to make an effort it’s when he asks me to marry him. I’ve even made it clear to him that if it isn’t romantic, it could be enough to make me say no. Try again, honey!
- I can’t remember the last time he bought me flowers. I think that’s really sad. I know I’m being sentimental here but seriously, my girlfriends buy me flowers more often than he does. It takes five seconds to stop at the store and pick up a bouquet!
- One of our longest running arguments is about stationery. It’s so silly and yet it means so much to me. My boyfriend always tells me not to buy stationery as he can get most things at work at a discount. I asked him to bring me home some staples about a year ago and I’m still waiting. Every time we argue, I tell him I care about the little things and how I hate that he doesn’t. Inevitably, I always throw my non-existent staples in his face. He says I should remind him but I’m pretty sure bringing it up in every fight should be enough for him to remember. Maybe I’ll ask for staples this Christmas…
- It’s really awkward when people ask what he did for the latest special occasion. I hate when people ask us what we did for birthdays, anniversaries, etc. I’m embarrassed that he doesn’t do more lovey-dovey things and it makes him look like an awful boyfriend who doesn’t care when the truth is so far from it.
- He thinks cooking dinner is romantic… but not when I do it. Very occasionally, he’ll decide he’s going to cook for me. We’re both big foodies and love to experiment in the kitchen. This means that almost everything we cook is from scratch, no throwing something frozen in the oven for us. I really appreciate it when he cooks for me but he expects a massive clap on the back every time and I can’t help but think about the robotic thanks I get when I cook every single other night of the year.
- I’d be happy if he just unclogged the drain for once. Like I said, it’s really not about spending a lavish amount of money, hell it’s not about spending any money at all. There are plenty of romantic things he could do that don’t cost a penny if only he would give it some thought. I would be over the moon if he did an unpleasant chore, for instance removing all the hair from the drain or cleaning the toilet for once. Ah, a girl can dream.