I’m Looking At My Boyfriend Differently Now That I Live With Him & I Don’t Like It

It’s surprising how much things change when you move in with your boyfriend. Whether you’ve been together five years or five months, I think we all go through some kind of adjustment period, right? That’s happening with me and my guy right now and it’s… an experience.

  1. Goodbye, honeymoon period. Hello, burps and farts and leaving the door open when he pees. Sigh. Look, I get it—we all get excess gas and we all have to use the restroom. But do we have to be so obvious about it as soon as we move in with our other halves? A little subtlety goes a long way.
  2. It’s a comfort thing. Sure, I guess I should feel touched that my boyfriend feels so comfortable in our relationship that he can just do what he does alone in front of me. However, sometimes it can have the opposite effect… like turning me off big style. I mean, there are just some things we do as individuals that our partners shouldn’t see.
  3. Where’s the romance? Just because we’re now living together doesn’t mean he should be behaving differently, right? I mean, I still shave my legs and implement my daily skincare routine just as I did before we lived together. Standards shouldn’t slip just because we’re under the same roof. After all, I still have to want to kiss him at the end of the day.
  4. Does he always have to be in my face? And for that matter, what happened to the personal boundaries we had in place before we lived together? Yes, I love him but no, I don’t always want him in my personal space. Case in point: him entering the room and turning on the hairdryer while I’m trying to watch The Bachelor. Sure, I appreciate a man who’s into personal hair care. That said, can’t he let me do my own thing for a while without interrupting me? It feels suffocating at times.
  5. We have to deal with real-life stuff now. Gone are the days where we stayed over at each other’s places and we didn’t have to deal with paying bills, cleaning, and other household chores that can sometimes cause World War 3 when you live with someone. No, we’re having to be full-on adults now and it can be difficult navigating these uncharted waters together.
  6. Things have just… changed. Whether we like it or not, our circumstances have changed, which also means that our relationship has changed. However, it’s supposed to be for the better, right? 
  7. It’s not like I’ve never lived with a guy before. I know how this whole thing works—I’ve done it once before with a previous long-term boyfriend. However, this time around, I seem to have skipped the lovey-dovey yay-we-live-together stage and have landed straight into the goodness-you’re-irritating pile of crap.
  8. This was totally unexpected. My grumpiness has completely taken me by surprise given that this is the guy I 100% want to end up with. Maybe my patience has been wearing thin over the years or perhaps I’ve just become so used to being on my own, but something about this whole thing has unnerved me.
  9. There are still some pros to living together. Even though this seems to be a massive con-fest, there are a lot of things I’m grateful for when it comes to my current living situation. I don’t have to worry about missing him, for one. I’m also never lonely and he looks after me in a way that I’ve never been looked after before. I feel safe and cared for, and you know what? That’s kind of a refreshing change.
  10. I’m just going to have to get over myself. I think the issues I have with him are actually my own. I’m fiercely independent and don’t like having to rely on someone else. I’m also a massive introvert, so I tend to feel socially hungover if I’m around someone all the time—even if it is my own BF. This is something I’m always trying to work on but old habits are hard to break.
  11. I still love him. They say there’s a fine line between love and hate and I’ve definitely understood this more than ever as of late. Even though this has been a tough adjustment period, I can’t help but still love my boyfriend to bits. Just like with anything in life, I’m certain this bad spell will pass and we’ll come out the other side even stronger. The things I’m feeling are natural taking into consideration my past and my present. And who knows? The lovey-dovey stage might come later on this time around. 
Katie Davies is a British freelance writer who has built a career creating lifestyle content that caters to the modern woman. When she's not sipping tea, shopping, or exploring a new city, you'll probably find her blogging about her fashion and travel adventures at https://trendytourist.co.uk.