I’m Married But Manage My Own Money — Here’s Why

I totally believe that when you get married, all aspects of your life should be combined, including your finances. With that being said, I also think it’s beneficial for couples to have their own separate bank accounts in addition to their joint ones. While some may say that it sounds selfish to have separate accounts, here is why I love managing my own money:

1. I’VE STRUGGLED WITH MONEY IN THE PAST. Growing up, I was admittedly spoiled. While my parents made sure I had a job as soon as I was 14, I was allowed to spend my money however I wanted and didn’t have much responsibility. When I got to college and had to start paying for my own essentials, I always ended up strapped for cash. I was awful at budgeting and carried that into my first year of marriage where I overspent and undersaved. It wasn’t until the second year of being married that my husband told me I needed to learn to budget and be aware of my spending habits. Having my own account puts me in charge of those good habits with every purchase.
2. I WANT TO BE RESPONSIBLE FOR MY OWN BILLS. While we share our bills, there are some that I feel personally responsible for. I have my own credit card bill each month as well as a car payment since I upgraded my vehicle. I also pay for our Hulu account since I use it way more than my husband does. Having my own bills to pay and be responsible for helps me to be aware of how I spend and how much I need to be saving. Paying some of my bills out of my own account also helps me to be thankful for the things my husband covers each month, which brings us closer as a couple.
3. I WANT TO BE INVOLVED IN OUR FINANCES. Even though my husband is the financial brain of the two of us, I don’t want to sit on the sidelines uninterested. I want to have an active role in money management and the easiest way is to have an account where I pay my bills from and keep track of my transactions. I love being able to sit down with my husband and go through the books together.
4. I WANT TO SHOW MY HUSBAND WE’RE PARTNERS. Not expecting my husband to be totally responsible for our finances shows that I want to be equal partners with him and he isn’t alone. If we’re tight on money, we save together. If we’re doing well, we celebrate together. It’s a two-sided effort that is only possible because I have equal stakes in managing our money.
5. I WANT TO KEEP TRACK OF HOW MUCH I’M BRINGING IN. All of the money we make is our money but I want to be able to see exactly how much I bring in from each paycheck and where it’s going specifically. This helps me to be a better saver and make goals for my career. I like to be able to see at a glance where my money is going without having to separate my earnings from my husbands.
6. I PAY FOR MY OWN LUXURIES. I’ve saved on so many arguments by paying for my own luxury purchases. Whether it’s me getting my nails done regularly or going shopping with my girlfriends, my husband doesn’t have to stress out about how much money I spent since it came out of my own account. This also allows us to be happy for each other when we buy something new or go on a trip because it isn’t putting stress on who’s spending more or putting bills in jeopardy.
7. I SAVE FOR THINGS MY HUSBAND DOESN’T. My husband saves for long-term expenses like upgrading our junk car from college or replacing the roof on our house. He’s a practical saver, which is so necessary, but he rarely puts away money for our short-term goals. In my account, I save money for us to be able to afford to get away or take our yearly vacation. Instead of getting stressed out, he knows that I have him covered for our fun trips or small purchases for our home.
8. I FEEL PRIDE SEEING MY HARD WORK PAY OFF. Just like everyone else in the world, I love to see my bank account grow. I love to see each paycheck come in and get to personally go into my account to manage where each dollar needs to go. I have a lot of pride in watching my work turn into a growing savings account and the ability to have fun with friends or treat myself or my husband.
9. I HAVE MY OWN RELATIONSHIP WITH OUR BANK. Since I run my own business from home, it’s very important for me to have my own relationship with our bank. Yes, they would recognize me on our joint account, but I love to show up in person to discuss savings accounts or just to cash my checks. If I ever need a small business loan, the bankers know me personally and I’ll be able to handle those affairs without having to drag my husband in to sign paperwork and hold my hand.
10. MY HUSBAND TRUSTS ME WITH OUR MONEY. Since I take the initiative to manage my own account, my husband trusts me to have full access to our account as well. He knows if he gives me the credit card that I won’t go crazy and he can trust me to work with the bank without his help. As a husband, he should trust me anyway, but it means a lot to me since I wasn’t always respectful of our money when we first got married.
11. I’M MORE CONSCIOUS OF SPENDING WHEN IT’S MY MONEY. It’s way too easy to spend money that you didn’t make yourself, which is why I love having my own account. It makes me think twice before I make purchases and helps me to practice responsible money management. I end up spending way less money on impulse and really only buying things that I know I need.
12. I CAN TREAT MY HUSBAND WITHOUT IT BEING A BURDEN TO HIM. One of my favorite things about managing my own money is being able to tell my husband that I’m going to treat him. I can let him relax knowing that I’m not pulling money out of our account, so he knows that it is genuinely from my heart since I’m fully paying for the expense. I love returning the favor and taking care of him the way he always has for me.
13. I KNOW I CAN BE HELPFUL DOING BOOKS AND FILING TAXES. When it comes time to file taxes or balance books, I know I’m helpful and not clueless. Nothing used to bother me quite like when I was digging through our office looking for documents our tax agent needed, knowing that I never cared enough to file them or keep track of my statements. It takes so much stress off my husband that I can give him a balanced statement and all the paperwork he needs without the headache. It helps him know that he isn’t alone and that I care about our financial responsibilities.
14. IT KEEPS OUR BILLS SEPARATE FROM OUR FUN MONEY. Having our own accounts ensures that we aren’t spending bill money on fun activities by accident. We never come up short at the end of the month regretting that one date night or spa day. We know that we’re covered and still have freedom to enjoy life without stressing out about bills. It helped our relationship be lighter and more spontaneous which helped bring us closer together.