Crushing on someone is like being under a spell. It just takes over your mind completely and all but erases your common sense. That’s exactly what happened to me when I fell for a guy HARD and gradually cut ties with reality, letting myself be deceived in these 10 ways:
I believed that something so intense could never be one-sided.
The hardest part of it was to realize that having intense feelings for someone doesn’t necessarily mean those feelings are mutual. I kinda convinced myself that I couldn’t have been the only one with such strong feelings — he had to reciprocate, for sure. Years later, I finally realized that perhaps there were some “vibes” coming from his side, but they definitely weren’t romantic. They were vibes from a guy who was feeling bored but also flattered to have a younger woman at his feet.
I saw hidden signs everywhere.
Life to me became a big love conspiracy and I saw hidden messages everywhere insisting that we were meant to be. All I thought about was him and I neglected myself, my work, and people that were close to me as a result. Everything was related to my crush or had some secret connection with him.
I misinterpreted his gestures and intentions.
Everything he did or said had to be intentionally romantic, even if it was so subtle as to seem nearly nonexistent. I kept playing our encounters in my head, overanalyzing them down to the tiniest detail and trying to find hidden meaning in everything. I was too naive to understand that even if he acted flirty, it would never mean anything if he didn’t make a move.
The certainty that it was meant to be kept me from moving on.
The hopeless romantic in me desperately wanted find The One. I didn’t want to wait any longer and I didn’t want to keep looking, so it had to be him. I already had a mental image of us being together forever, and I refused to let go of it.
When he pulled away, I kept making excuses for him.
When he made it clear to me that he wasn’t interested, I kept making excuses for him. Moreover, I blamed myself for the lack of progress between us when it was clearly his place to make a move. This was made even worse by his attitude and the way he’d reel me back in the minute I started to move away.
Deep down, I believed I was entitled to his love.
I let my crush know in many different ways how I felt and didn’t play any games with him. For some reason, I was convinced this meant I was entitled to his love. It felt “right” in my heart and so incredibly good to be around him that it was only a matter of time until he too realised that I was the one for him. The prolem is, it never happened.
The red flags were there but I turned a blind eye.
Looking back, there were countless warning signs that we would never be together, but I systematically ignored all of them, thinking that love beats all barriers. I loved the challenge he presented and the excitement he brought in my life. Besides, I was addicted to the thrill and heartbreak my own feelings gave me.
I used my friends as a way to justify my obsession.
I bet I was a real pain in the ass for my friends during that time. All I talked about was that guy and how things were between us. I kept trying to make other people say what I wanted to hear, and in the end, they did… just to make me shut up.
I took whatever BS he said to me seriously.
Guys feel flattered when a woman admires and looks up to them like I did, and my former crush was no different. He played along with it, and even though he knew how I felt, he didn’t turn me down directly but instead encouraged me to hang around just to entertain him and boost his ego. I now understand that the guy had some serious issues and was clearly manipulating me by encouraging my feelings, then later rejecting me and keeping me on the back burner.
I believed we were going to have a Hollywood-level romance.
In my deluded mind, we had a Carrie and Mr. Big kind of thing. Considering it’s been more than 10 years since the last time I saw him, that’s clearly not the case. Oh well. Thankfully, I’ve since moved on to someone who likes me back. Like, for real.
Sponsored: The best dating/relationships advice on the web. Check out Relationship Hero a site where highly trained relationship coaches get you, get your situation, and help you accomplish what you want. They help you through complicated and difficult love situations like deciphering mixed signals, getting over a breakup, or anything else you’re worried about. You immediately connect with an awesome coach on text or over the phone in minutes. Just click here…
- 14 Little Things That Look Like Love But Are Actually Manipulation
- You Know You’re In An Almost Relationship If You’re Sending Him These Texts
- I Didn’t Understand Why I Kept Ending Up With Toxic Guys Until I Realized These Important Things
- 17 Life Struggles Of Women Who Are Naturally Loud
- They Might Not Seem Like It, But These 12 Things Are Emotional Abuse
- Your Drunk Self Is Your Truest Self, Science Says
- What’s Your Hottest Quality? Here’s What Your Zodiac Sign Suggests
- “Duty Dating” Is A Thing And You Need To Start Doing It ASAP
Share this article now!