I’m Nobody’s Backup Plan—If A Guy Doesn’t Choose Me, He’ll Lose Me

We live in a society where far too many people love with one foot out the door, waiting for the next best thing. It’s because of this mentality that many men (and women) have resorted to having a backup plan. You know, just in case they don’t get that “perfect” person. Eff that. If I’m not number one, then ciao, baby.

I’m the complete package.

Sure, I totally have my flaws. I’m overly emotional, a pain in the butt, and if you get no my bad side, you stay there forever. I’m also demanding and have expectations that most men can’t meet. But I’m funny, I’m cute, I give great oral sex, I give a damn, and if I fall in love with you, there’s nothing I won’t do for you. Also, not to brag, but I’m pretty awesome in the kitchen too in that I know how to turn on the stove. Complete packages, to the best of my knowledge, aren’t backup plans.

I’m not a placeholder.

I refuse to sit around waiting for some guy to decide whether I’m worthy or good enough to be taken off the bench and put in the game. Not only am I better than that but I deserve more. I deserve to be treated like his one-and-only because I AM his one-and-only. Any guy who benches me for even a second will never see me again.

I refuse to be someone’s idea of settling.

Ultimately, a backup plan means you settled for something because you didn’t get what you really wanted. I’ll never, ever, be some guy’s idea of settling. It’s bad enough he wants to settle, but what’s even worse is that he thinks being with me is settling. Wrong. I’ll only be someone’s first choice. In fact, I won’t stand for being any other choice.

I deserve the best.

I would never call myself a princess, as I don’t think I’m high-maintenance enough for that, but I do deserve to be treated like damn royalty and not put on a shelf with a sign that reads, “maybe.” I’m not a maybe; I’m a definitely, hell yeah, and “I’m so happy I have Amanda in my life.” Anything else isn’t OK.

It’s insulting to both of us.

Not only is it insulting to me to be someone’s backup plan, but it’s insulting to the guy in question, too. Granted, it’s more insulting to me and humiliating to boot, but any guy who can’t see that turning to his backup plan because all else failed is a pathetic, blind fool. And, of course, no one worth knowing anyway.

I haven’t come this far to be downgraded.

A backup plan is a step down and not by choice. I haven’t come this far in my life, professionally, personally, and otherwise for some schmuck to come along and downgrade me by making me his backup plan. Now effing way. It’s a slap in the face to everything that I am and hope to be.

I’m the decider.

I decide where I stand in my relationships. I decide what I deserve, what I need, what I want, and how things are going to roll. I don’t take a backseat to my life and allowing some guy to make me his backup plan is completely taking the backseat. Hell, I’m not just the decider, I’m the driver, too.

I would never be that rude.

I realize social graces and etiquette aren’t what they used to be, but making someone a backup plan is, at its core, rude. It’s also cruel and shows a complete lack of respect and decency. I would never treat anyone, even a stranger, in such cruel and rude manner.

I don’t have time to waste.

If you want me, come and get me. I don’t have time for some guy to weigh the pros and cons of having me in his life, while he also weighs the pros and cons of the other women he has in the running to be his partner. Life is too short to waste time on such things and too precious not to realize, in an instant, I’m the one that he wants. It shouldn’t even be up for debate.

I need to believe love still exists.

While I wouldn’t dare to call myself a romantic, I still need to believe that love, real love, exists. That there are guys out there who don’t want open relationships, who believe in monogamy, who want a happily ever after and want it with their first choice and not the next best thing. If I don’t have that belief to cling to, then exactly what the hell am I doing even making an attempt at the whole relationship thing?

I would never forgive myself.

If I was someone’s backup plan and knew it, I’d never forgive myself. I’d lose all self-respect and sincerely think that I’d completely lost my mind and given up entirely – I’m not going down that road. I respect myself far too much to let such a thing happen. Even if, for whatever reason, he was my first choice, I’d never be able to look myself in the mirror knowing that I thought so little of myself to allow such a thing.

Sponsored: The best dating/relationships advice on the web. Check out Relationship Hero a site where highly trained relationship coaches get you, get your situation, and help you accomplish what you want. They help you through complicated and difficult love situations like deciphering mixed signals, getting over a breakup, or anything else you’re worried about. You immediately connect with an awesome coach on text or over the phone in minutes. Just click here

Read more:

Share this article now!

Jump to the comments