I’m Not Into Half-Assed Relationships—Put In 100% Or Don’t Be With Me At All

Some people think it’s fine to slack off in relationships and if you’re one of them, stay the hell away from me. When I have a partner, I expect them to give everything they have when it comes to affection, commitment, and overall effort, and this is why I won’t tolerate anything less.

I can’t give more than I take.

I always give my everything in relationships and in the past, I was OK with it when my partner didn’t reciprocate that kind of effort. But I’ve realized that I can’t keep accepting that kind of imbalance in my love life, so if you’re cruising through our relationship with minimal effort, I’m out. I need someone who’s as invested in the relationship as I am.

Neither of us should be wasting our time.

 We’re not getting any younger, and frankly, I don’t feel like spending a single second dating someone who doesn’t take our relationship seriously. Half-assing a relationship is an easy way to flush weeks, months, or even years down the drain instead of spending them more productively. I’d rather spend that time with someone I wanted to give my everything to — wouldn’t you?

Anything less than 100% is disrespectful.

When you’re dating someone, it should be because you cherish them. When you instead treat them like they don’t really matter to you, it’s rude. You’re filling a space in their life that could just as easily be occupied by someone else, and instead of treating them like a valued part of your life, you’re taking them for granted. I would never date someone I didn’t respect, and if you’re the type of person who thinks it’s acceptable to be lazy in love, I have no desire to be with you.

I don’t want someone who’s fine with the bare minimum.

The effort you give in relationships is indicative of the effort you give in other aspects of your life as well. If you can’t be bothered to give your all in our relationship, I know that you’re probably also half-assing your way through your job, hobbies, and friendships. I value effort in my partners, and I can’t date someone who barely skates by in everything they do.

I’m over casual relationships.

When I was in my early twenties, I was fine with being in relationships that were destined to go nowhere. But I’ve gotten that out of my system, and now I’m looking for something real and lasting. I’m pretty upfront with my needs and intentions when I enter a relationship, so if you know what I’m hoping for and still choose to treat me like you could take me or leave me, I’d rather you just break up with me now.

I’m not lowering my standards just because I like you.

I’m willing to make a lot of sacrifices for people that I like or love, but letting someone drop the ball with their effort isn’t one of them. I’m not one of those people who’s willing to let their partner slack off just for the sake of keeping them around, no matter how great they are. Don’t let my affection for you trick you into thinking that I’ll stick around if I see you’re not giving me your all.

I refuse to be made to look like a fool.

Desperation will do a lot to keep people trying to maintain an unhealthy relationship, but I’m anything but desperate. I value my pride and I refuse to be the girl who gives everything she has while her partner gives the bare minimum. I always feel bad for the women I see in those unbalanced relationships, and I would be mortified if anyone saw me in the same light.

You shouldn’t just be with me for the hell of it.

I’m perfectly happy as a single woman, so when I’m dating someone, it’s because I actively want to be with them. I try to date people who share the same philosophy, and I couldn’t be with someone I felt was only with me because they didn’t want to be alone. I’m so much more than arm candy or a consistent source of sex and I demand to be treated as such.

I can easily find someone who would give me their everything.

No matter how great you are, there’s someone out there who’s just as great as you and would give me their all in love. If you think that your good qualities are going to be enough to convince me to stick around despite your lack of effort, you’re in for a rude awakening. I’m not worried about ending up alone just because I’m tired of your laziness in our relationship.

I’m not scared to get 0% instead of 50%

 Let’s say that I’m dead wrong and do end up single for the rest of my life after getting tired of your lackluster efforts. Honestly, it would still be better than staying in a relationship with someone who can’t be fussed to treat me like they value me. If you really don’t have it in you to give me your 100 percent, that’s fine — I’ll spoil myself with love and be just fine by on my own.

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