If I’m Not The Most Important Thing In Your Life, Then I Don’t Want To Be A Part Of It

Being second best sucks — believe me, I should know. I tend to always be the one to put the most effort into my relationships and I’m tired of it. For now on, if you’re going to date me, I want to be the center of your world. I deserve to be number one — here’s why I won’t settle for being anything less:

  1. I’m giving up a lot to be with you. Do you realize what my life could be like if the only person I had to worry about is myself? I’m investing my time, energy, love and trust in you. That’s a big deal, and I want to be with a guy who realizes and appreciates that.
  2. You should be just as committed as I am. I’m tired of being the one who cares too much. If you aren’t 100% committed to making us work and keep our relationship not just alive but thriving, there’s no sense in us being together, to be honest.
  3. I deserve to be treated like a queen. It’s taken me a long time to realize this, but I deserve to be treated like royalty. That doesn’t mean I need expensive gifts or for you to wait on me hand and foot, but I want to feel special, important, and loved. I don’t think that’s too much to ask from the guy I’m dating.
  4. You should be able to drop everything for me if I need you to. If I’m in trouble or need help, I expect you to be there without hesitation and without delay because I would do the same for you. If we’re not there for each other, then what’s the point of even being in a relationship?
  5. If love isn’t the most important thing to you, then what is? I consider myself to be a hardcore romantic. To me, love is everything and I hope my partner feels the same. Being in love is the best feeling in the world. It’s the motivation behind everything I do. You could say that I’m a love junkie… I just need to be with someone who also believes that love is everything.
  6. I’m looking for an equal partnership. The key to any good relationship is balance. I shouldn’t love you more than you love me and vice versa. It needs to be equal, otherwise I’m going to regret the whole thing.
  7. When it comes to relationships, I don’t mess around. When I’m in a relationship, I have an “all or nothing” kind of attitude. I would do anything for my partner and I’ve come to realize that I can’t be with someone who doesn’t have that same mindset.
  8. I’m tired of being the only one who gives. I’m honestly so tired of running around, making sure my S.O. is happy. I tend to lose myself in relationships, which leaves me with little to no energy. Since I tend to put others first, I need to be extra careful about who I commit to. Otherwise, I could get taken advantage of — that’s already happened one too many times.
  9. I need a partner who loves me for who I am. There’s a special kind of feeling that comes with being accepted for who you are. It’s called unconditional love and it’s the only kind of love I want from my partner. If you’re not willing to accept me with your whole heart, then I might have to walk away.
  10. I love myself too much to waste my time on someone who doesn’t care about me. I know I’m a catch and I won’t forget it. I am too special to be wasted on some guy who barely gives me the time of day. I have way too much love for myself to put up with a half-assed relationship.
  11. I’ve already been through hell, relationship-wise. I’ve seen it all. After everything I’ve been through, I only have room for a guy who loves me wholeheartedly. I’m not jaded; I just finally realized that I’m worth more than second-best.
  12. I respect the need for independence, but our relationship comes first. I don’t want either of us to “lose ourselves,” but I do think that once a relationship has been established, it’s no longer just about me and you — it’s about us.
Jennifer is a playwright, dancer, and theatre nerd living in the big city of Toronto, Canada. She studied Creative Writing at Concordia University and works as a lifestyle writer who focuses on Health, B2B, Tech, Psychology, Science, Food Trends and Millennial Life. She's also a coreographer, playwright, and lyricist, with choreography credits for McMaster University’s “Spring Awakening,” “Roxanne” for the Guelph Contemporary Dance Festival, and “The Beaver Den” for The LOT, among others.

You can see more of her work on her Contently page and follow her on Instagram @jenniferenchin.