I’m Not Interested In Mystery—I Want The Man Who Lays It All Out On The Table

I’m not a mysterious girl—with me, what you see is what you get, and I’m looking for a guy who’s just as easy to read as I am. Love is complicated enough as it is—I want to be with someone who makes things easy.

  1. Mystery is only good at the beginning. At the start of a new relationship, I think the not knowing is pretty great. It keeps me on my toes, trying to work out where things are going and when we’re going to see each other next. The initial part of getting to know someone is always full of mystery, from finding out what his favorite color is to how he kisses, but that’s where it stops.
  2. I want to know the man I date. At the end of the day, if I’m truly falling for a guy then I’m going to want to know every little thing about him. Mystery is fun but so is discovering someone, getting to truly know them and their deepest fears and wildest dreams. Not only that, but how could I commit to a relationship with someone I don’t truly feel I know?
  3. Mystery is complicated. If there’s one thing that I hate about millennial dating (and trust me, there are a few things), it’s the complexity. I think love is complicated enough without trying not to reveal anything about yourself to your potential partner. We should be making things simpler.
  4. Mystery points to something else. I’m sorry but if he doesn’t offer up any information about himself then I’m going to assume he doesn’t want to for some reason. To me, being overly mysterious with your partner means you’re either not ready for a relationship, or you have something to hide. A man should be able to hold my interest without clouding himself in mystery.
  5. Mystery scares me. I’m a girl who likes to know exactly what she’s going to get. Now I know that can only apply so far to relationships because every new connection is a little bit of a gamble. What I mean is that getting to know someone properly means that I can be sure that my heart is in good hands.
  6. There are better things to wish for than mystery. Mysteriousness is not usually a trait I look for in a man. There are things that are far more important for me. A man who’s honest and open and genuine turns me on far more than a mysterious man ever could.
  7. Mystery won’t last forever. Eventually, the mystery will get old. You can’t keep an act going forever. I don’t want to discover the man I’m dating five years into our relationship. I want to know him on day one. It’ll help me work out if a relationship with him is worth pursuing so I don’t waste either of our time.
  8. Genuine trumps mysterious. Give me a man who’s mysterious and the suspicious me comes out. I’ll be wondering why he’s struggling to reveal information about himself and to tell me who he is. Give me a man who’s honest and open and I’ll naturally want to be open and honest back. I think that makes for a healthier relationship.
  9. True mystery doesn’t even exist anymore. Blame Facebook and social media in general, but the reality is that mystery doesn’t really exist anymore in 21st-century dating. These days, a simple search on our phones will reveal his middle name, closest friends and how often he gets drunk. We can go into a first date already knowing so much about the guy, it’s not even funny!
  10. I feel much safer with a man who lays it all out on the table. Having to second guess is my worst nightmare when it comes to dating. With a mysterious guy, I feel like I’ll have to overanalyze everything, trying to figure out what he said and what he meant by it. I’d much rather date the man who lays it all out on the table, who isn’t afraid to speak his mind and show me the real him. At the very least, I’ll have many less sleepless nights!
  11. Love has no boundaries. I think when it comes to the person you love, it’s perfectly natural to want to know every little thing about them. There shouldn’t be any secrets between me and my guy and so there’s really nothing to be mysterious about. I want the man who is comfortable enough with me to tell me what’s on his mind every time.
Disney and life combined have made a starry eyed dreamer out of me. And I refuse to wake up.

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