I try not to be a jealous person because I know how easily it can destroy relationships. In fact, there’s not much that can really faze me when it comes to jealousy in my relationships. But that’s all going to change if you do any of these things and push me too far:
- Head to a party with me and then ditch me for your friends Let’s be real here: If I go to a party one of your friends is having, you’d better stay by my side. I don’t know these people. If you leave me all alone so you can go hang out with your pals, I will freak out. Later, when we’re home alone, a hell of a storm is coming your way. Be warned.
- Check out other women when I’m with you I’m sorry, do you think I’m blind? When I’m sitting opposite you in a bar and you stop mid-conversation to check out some girl, I can see you. Do you know how disrespectful that is or what signal that sends out? It says that you couldn’t give a damn about me: your girlfriend. It isn’t about the other girl — it’s about you being a sleazy man-child and thinking I don’t see it.
- Buy the bartender a drink… and not me Now, I know that guys like to play it big and buy the pretty bartender a drink when she serves them. I get that. You want her to think you’re loaded and suave and sweet. But wait just a damn minute — what about me?! When the bar staff comes before me in our relationship, I know just where I stand. And frankly, I won’t be standing there much longer.
- Flirt with other women online I am so not the type of girl to check your messages on Facebook or go creeping through your phone. I trust you not to be chatting with some random girl online or trying to flirt with some chick who added you on Facebook. I happen to think you’re a pretty decent guy; I wouldn’t be with you otherwise. So, if I do catch you trying to impress some lady online, we are so over.
- Dance up on another girl in a club What happens in the club stays in the club, right? Um, no. If I see you rubbing up on some girl you just met, you may as well be screwing her. I know, I know — it’s not the same thing, but the intention is there. Dancing can be a seriously sexual activity, and don’t you dare pretend you don’t know what I mean. If your crotch is pressed against her ass when you move, that’s as good as cheating to me.
- Get a dumb ‘happy’ look when your ex texts you Look, I don’t want to hear about your exes. Your past is just that. I’m cool just being a part of your future, but if your ex texts you every damn day and you get that same gooey, mushy look on your face, I’m going to panic. If I get the slightest sniff that you’re not over that girl, I’m out. I’m sorry, but there’s only room for two people in this relationship.
- Stalk that same girl online when I’m not looking Okay, we’ve all stalked our exes online from time to time. That’s pretty standard after a nasty breakup. But if I catch you looking at your ex’s profile when we’re together, I will be weirded out. If we’re together, the last thing you should be doing is obsessing over the past.
- Go out ‘on the prowl’ with your guy friends Not all of your pals are coupled up, right? That’s cool — I have some very special single ladies in my life too. But I don’t go out on the prowl with them… and neither should you. I don’t care if you say you’re just the ‘wingman’ or whatever — it’s dangerous territory and you know it. If you want my trust and time, you’d better earn it.
- Tell people that we’re in an open relationship I don’t remember us having this conversation or saying you could sleep your way around town. I definitely don’t remember saying that I don’t mind my guy getting it on with some other woman. And do you know why I don’t remember these things? Because they never happened, and they never will. I don’t care if you’re trying to be cool with your friends or showing off to some stranger you met at a bar. I don’t care if you were just ‘kidding around’. If I catch you saying this BS, we are done.