I’m Not Needy, I Just Really Like You

Good women exist — I know because I’m one of them, and I show it by treating the people I care about really well. If you’re seriously going to make me feel bad for showing my feelings in a real and honest way and don’t appreciate the effort and kindness I’m paying you, then maybe this isn’t where I should invest my effort. I’m not needy, I just really like you. Isn’t that a good thing?

I text you back quickly because I’m not playing a game. When I respond to your messages sooner rather than later, it’s not because I’m “too eager,” it’s because I’m actually available to do so — there’s nothing more to it. The assumption that I’m just sitting by the phone waiting for a guy to light it up gets tiring to hear. I’m just a polite human being and don’t want to play games — it’s that simple.

I make an effort to make time with you because I want to make things work. When I make time for you in my life, it’s because I actually like you. To me, when you date someone, you’re supposed to spend time together to get to know each other better and to keep the memories flowing. That’s how relationships are formed, aren’t they?

I make sweet and surprise gestures because I’m thoughtful. No, it’s not needy when I do something thoughtful for you. If I pick up tickets for your favorite band or keep your favorite beer stocked in my fridge, it’s not because I’m desperate for a relationship, it’s just because that’s just the kind of person I am — I’m thoughtful.

I want to hear from you everyday because I actually do care how your day was. Believe it or not, keeping in touch everyday is important to me. If I’m dating you, I’m not making any half-ass efforts and I’m going to give you the best version of me. That’s how it should be. When days go by and I don’t hear back from you, it does make me question whether or not you truly appreciate having me in your life.

I make myself available for you because I want to. My schedule is busy AF, so if I willingly shuffle my plans around to make time for you, consider yourself lucky before calling me needy. Wanting and making an effort to fit you into my life should make you feel special and shouldn’t be used against me to make me feel like crap.

There’s a difference between neediness and being affectionate. You might call it needy, but I call it being affectionate. People just don’t show affection in the same ways that we used to and maybe that’s why you’re having a tough time figuring it out. If you can’t understand that I’m just a person treating you with kindness and respect then it might be that you’re not ready for a real relationship. There’s a definite difference and if you can’t distinguish between the two, maybe you’re not the guy for me after all.

You’re seriously taking me for granted and I won’t put up with it. I’m sick of the guys who are so unappreciative of good and genuine women. It seems like so many guys complain that there are no good women out there and yet when they have one right in front of them, they find a way to sabotage it by looking them as needy, clingy or “too good to be true.” The only catch here is me and it’s up to you whether you’re willing to look at me for who I am instead of who you’re afraid I might be.

A lot of guys would be happy to take your place. There are plenty of guys who would be more than happy to switch places with you. I’m not going to try and convince you that I’m amazing; you should already know from my actions that I’m a total catch.

Yes, this is what it’s like to have the good woman you claim to want. Maybe you’re holding your own past experiences against me. I really don’t know but what I do know is that genuinely good women aren’t going to play a game of cat and mouse with you or manipulate their affections to win you over. I’m the exact woman you said you were looking for, and instead of appreciating all of the things you said you were missing from girls before me, you’re crapping all over it by calling me needy. WTF?

If you continue to be ungrateful, I’ll become unavailable to you. If you really can’t comprehend the reality of what’s happening here, I can easily do you a favor and remove myself from your life. If you’re not going to appreciate me for the genuine effort I’ve made at seeing what this relationship could be, I won’t stick around to try and convince you. I’m a good woman and that’s literally how simple it is. But let’s get one thing straight — I’m not needy, I just like you.

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