A few guys I’d dated in the past came back years later and told me I was “the one who got away.” I always rolled my eyes and wanted to punch them in the face. I was the one who RAN, not walked, away as fast as my heels could carry me — here are just a few of the reasons why:
- The guy was scary. Ghosting and going AWOL on someone are bad, but sometimes I didn’t have a choice. The guy had psychological problems and I knew that I had to GTFO without putting myself in danger or offering long explanations for why I wanted to go away that he just wouldn’t understand or accept. I had to protect myself, period.
- The guy broke my heart. It’s funny when a guy treated me like crap and broke my heart but then returned to tell me I got away. No, you pushed me away and then I ran the rest of the way. What, does he have amnesia? Does he really not remember how he totally messed with me? FFS. There’s no way I’d want a sequel to that.
- The guy wasted enough of my time. When I was the one who ended things, I wouldn’t always tell the guys the whole truth about why I was leaving because I didn’t want to hurt their feelings. But once or twice, I’d just know being with the guy was a total waste of time, like when the “‘seeing each other” phase was just never growing into a relationship or they weren’t showing as much interest as I was. It’s convenient for the guys to return and realize that they should’ve, but whatevs.
- The guy was a jerk, plain and simple. One of the most common reasons I’d want out was if the guy was a douchebag who treated others badly or a bad boy who thought he could get away with stuff because he was hot. Who the hell needs the drama? One of the guys who’d been a huge bad boy when we were younger came back and promised me he’d changed and that he would treat me well. He missed his chance and besides, I don’t believe those jerks and bad boys ever really change.
- The guy treated his exes badly. It’s a weird situation to get to know your crush’s ex but that’s what happened to me and it saved me precious time I would have spent on the loser. She didn’t know that I knew him, but she told me all about her horrible ex who cheated on her. That was when I knew it was best to stop showing interest in him and guard my heart.
- The guy was an illusion. All the guys who told me I was the one who got away had one thing in common: they were really illusions that I wanted to believe. They weren’t as interested in me as I was in them because I had ideas in my mind of who I wanted them to be. But eventually, I had to wake up and see the guys for what they were.
- The guy was not as mature as I was. Having a delayed reaction when it came to being interested in me was the guys’ problem, not mine. I had gone through feeling for them and then getting over them, so now when they were telling me I had got away and they appeared to have learnt their lessons, I couldn’t help but think, “Too little, too late.” Or, as Oscar Wilde put it: “There is always something ridiculous about the emotions of people whom one has ceased to love.” Good riddance, jerks!
