I’m Not A Perfect Girlfriend, But That’s What Makes Me So Awesome

I’ll be the first to admit that I have my fair share of flaws. I’m well aware that I’m not the perfect girlfriend who gives amazing foot rubs and drinks beer with their boyfriend’s crew without complaining. After spending the majority of my relationships trying to be someone I’m not, I’ve finally fully accepted that I’m just not the ideal girlfriend. In fact, I’m better than that—I’m me.

  1. I make mistakes. I do more wrong than I do right, but you know what? It has made me a stronger person in the end. I’ve accepted that I’m not perfect and that I’ll never reach the unrealistic ideals some guys set for women, which is exactly why I don’t let my slip ups define me. If anything, they make me more humble.
  2. Sometimes I don’t do my hair in the morning. Full disclosure—I haven’t washed my hair in three days and that’s exactly the way I like it. I don’t feel a need to get dolled up for my BF because I know I’m good enough without it. Screw spending an hour blow drying and ironing out my hair. I’m a natural girl and that’s what makes me, me.
  3. I feel super insecure about myself sometimes. They say that confidence is the magical thing people look for in an ideal partner and I do have it… most of the time. Other times, I’m like a squirmy, awkward version of myself, feeling like I’m a second class citizen to the rest of the world. I don’t have unshakeable confidence and probably never will, and that’s totally fine.
  4. I get jealous. You know those girlfriends who are totally cool with their boyfriends hanging out with their female friends? That’s not me. I get worried that I’ll be replaced just like almost every other girl (and guy) out there. I’m not ashamed of my jealous tendencies. If anything, it makes me more human.
  5. I freak out over minor things. I definitely got this trait from my mom. I’m not one of those cool and collected kind of girls. I’m actually pretty difficult to deal with, especially when I overreact about seemingly minor things like missing a dinner reservation or when my BF buys the wrong brand of cat food. These things aren’t minor to me. At least it shows I care about things?
  6. I burp… a lot. I think burping out loud is hilarious. I know that most girls hold it in, but I think it’s fun. It’s like telling a joke, except sometimes I get mixed reactions from people who are lame. Who cares? It shows that I’m confident enough in my femininity to be a little bit boyish.
  7. I withdraw when I get stressed. I can be a bit avoidant in relationships. When I need alone time, I REALLY need alone time and usually, my boyfriend is okay with it. I might withdraw sometimes, but when I come back, it’s like 10 times the love as before. In this case, I think it’s a good thing.
  8. I need lots of validation. While some girls just automatically know they’re amazing, I need tons of validation (especially from my boyfriend) to really believe that I’m beautiful and sweet and good. Just because I need to be told time and time again that I’m good doesn’t mean I’m less than perfect, I just need a boost every now and then. Ain’t nothin’ wrong with that.
  9. I can be really selfish. I do a lot of things for my boyfriend that he thinks are all for him when they’re really all for me. I think it’s pretty impossible to be completely selfless in a relationship unless you’re a saint or Mother Theresa. Everyone is thinking of themselves the majority of the time and the fact that I can admit it that I do too is pretty mature.
  10. I show up late to almost everything. I’m literally never on time. Even as a kid, I would be running for the school bus and showing up late for piano lessons. Nothing has changed since then and I’ve just accepted that I will sometimes let my boyfriend down by being late. It doesn’t mean I love him any less. I just consider it a monitor character quirk of mine.
  11. I can’t cook. Most dudes want a girl who can cook. Unfortunately, that’s just not me. Trust me, I’ve tried and it always ends up being a disaster. Whatever energy I would have put into cooking, I am now putting into ordering stuff really fast from my food delivery app. At least that’s something!
  12. I can still get awkward about sex. Even though I’m now in my late 20s, I’m still not totally comfortable with my body yet. I still think sex can be kinda weird and am not down to try just about anything. I am, however, open to discussion. The fact that I’m willing to consider some of the more risqué activities in the bedroom is pretty cool of me, if I do say so.
Jennifer is a playwright, dancer, and theatre nerd living in the big city of Toronto, Canada. She studied Creative Writing at Concordia University and works as a lifestyle writer who focuses on Health, B2B, Tech, Psychology, Science, Food Trends and Millennial Life. She's also a coreographer, playwright, and lyricist, with choreography credits for McMaster University’s “Spring Awakening,” “Roxanne” for the Guelph Contemporary Dance Festival, and “The Beaver Den” for The LOT, among others.

You can see more of her work on her Contently page and follow her on Instagram @jenniferenchin.