I know a lot of women dream of eventually meeting their “person” and having a big family and living happily ever after, but I gave up on that dream long ago. Not only do I doubt such a fairytale even exists in real life, but I also feel like there’s more to life than romance and babies. In fact, these days, I’m pretty sure the real key to happiness is staying single and childfree for the rest of my life.
- I like being in control of my time and money. To have a child (and in many ways, to have a relationship), you have to be selfless. You have to consider another person in everything you do, to sacrifice your own desires at times to instead act in your kid’s best interest. Simply put, your life is not your own anymore, not even when they turn 18 and technically become adults. That does not sound like the kind of life I aspire to have. I don’t want to resent a partner or kids because they’re “interfering” with the things I want to do and how I live on a daily basis. By staying single and childfree, I can continue to be selfish unapologetically.
- There’s nothing I’d do with a partner that I can’t do on my own. I’m not saying there’s no value in romantic relationships, but I am saying that being single and childfree isn’t keeping me from living my life to the fullest. I can still travel the world solo or with my friends, have an amazing career, pursue my hobbies and passions, and be quite happy on my own. I’ve never been someone who relies on other people to complete me. I’m a whole person all on my own.
- The headache that is dating men just isn’t worth it. I’ve been there, done that, got the mental and emotional scars to prove it. It’s not that I’m anti-love, it’s that I wasted many years looking for it and the glimpses of it I did manage to find didn’t last very long. Again, that’s not me saying that it doesn’t exist and that it’s not out there, just that all the drama that comes with dating men and being in relationships with them gives me a headache and I’d rather be on my own.
- No kids and no man = protecting my peace. This is really what it’s all about. By staying single and childfree, I’m basically assuring a certain level of peace in my life. I don’t hate kids but I’m not particularly maternal. Screaming children who throw tantrums and act like total brats are not something that warms my heart. In fact, the very thought aggravates the hell out of me. Same goes for having a relationship with a guy who seems to think I’m his replacement mother and that I owe him sex whenever he snaps his fingers. Ruling those things out gives me an overwhelming feeling of peace that I can’t even explain.
- Single people do tend to be happier — science continually proves it. In 2019, Paul Dolan, a professor of behavioral science at the London School of Economics, made a speech at the Hay festival revealing that data showed that women are indeed much happier when they never get married or have kids. Research published that same year as Dolan’s speech said pretty much the same thing, as did a further study published in Personality and Social Psychology Bulletin in early 2022.
- I’m not willing to compromise because why should I? Like I said, I’m aware that relationships and parenthood take compromise and that’s not really something I’m keen on doing at this point. I’ve done it plenty of times before in relationships and it never got me anywhere. I just ended up unhappy and occasionally resentful. I know that it’s unfair to be in a relationship and want everything to be my way or the highway, so it’s better that I avoid it entirely.
- I can get myself off just fine, thank you very much. Another thing people often point out is that if I’m staying single for life, I’m obviously going to be missing out on sex. First of all, casual sex is a thing, so get with the times. Second of all, I don’t care all that much about sex — most guys are mediocre at it at best and I know how to give myself plenty of orgasms if I’m desperate. This isn’t really a consideration for me.
- Of course, I’m aware all of this could change one day. Saying I plan on staying single and childfree forever sounds fine and dandy now, but I know I could change my mind in a year or five and that’s fine. I’m not joining a nunnery or anything. I’m free to switch up what I envision for my life at any time and I may do so. However, at the moment, I literally can’t imagine wanting or needing to do so.