I love my son to death and becoming a mom was my personal choice, but sometimes I get really jealous of my friends who don’t have children. The freedom they have and their carefree days are very alluring to the mom of a toddler. I’m grateful to be a parent, but sometimes I wish I could go back in time just for a day. People who no kids have it made!
- They get to sleep as much as they want. I haven’t slept in since I had my baby 14 months ago. It doesn’t matter if I go to bed early or if I stay up all night — I have to get up with my kid at 6 a.m. every morning. When I see my friends pop up on my Snapchat saying how they slept in until nearly noon, I can’t help but feel kind of jealous. Not having control over how much sleep you get is a very strange and unsettling feeling. I can’t wait for my son to be in high school so I can catch up on all this missed rest.
- They can be as spontaneous and adventurous as they want. When you have a baby, there’s not a lot of room for being adventurous and doing fun things on a whim. Your life becomes a daily routine, day in and day out. If you stray away from your routine, you run the risk of your child losing his mind and having a meltdown. Whenever my child-free friends share photos of impromptu road trips or I get a text message asking to go out for lunch and manicures, it hurts to have to turn down the invite if I don’t have a babysitter on hand.
- They can do whatever they want with their money. My son’s needs come first. If I need to buy him summer clothes, diapers, and formula, that means I’m probably not buying myself Starbucks, new makeup, or whatever else I might want at the moment. I need to make sure I have enough money to buy him what he needs to be healthy and happy before I spend money on anything for myself. Once your child gets older, it gets even more expensive. Paying for college, buying their first car, school field trips…all of these are things my friends with no kids won’t have to worry about.
- They’re not dealing with postpartum body changes. I don’t just mean physical changes, but hormonal and emotional changes too. Even though I got back to my pre-pregnancy weight, my body shape is forever changed. There’s nothing wrong with it and I’m not self-conscious about it, but it’s just different. What is annoying, however, is how your hormones go crazy after you have a baby. Seriously, for an entire year after giving birth, my body was a hormonal roller coaster. Anyone who hasn’t given birth will never have to deal with the postpartum hormones, and for that, they’re extremely lucky!
- They can decorate their homes however they’d like. Have you ever tried keeping cute décor in your home while you have a toddler running around? It’s nearly impossible. Toddlers like to touch everything, throw things, and rearrange everything. I’ve met up with my friends at Homegoods and Target and we’ve browsed the aisles of adorable home décor. It can be really frustrating when you really want to purchase something for your home but can’t because you know your toddler will wreck it eventually.
- They’re not living in constant worry. When my son was born, I was filled with an overwhelming need to protect him from any harm and make sure that he was thriving in all aspects of life. Having a kid is like having a piece of you walking around outside of your body. My friends who have no kids will never have to worry about anyone else in this sort of weird and unique way. It’s a totally different kind of worry. When you’re a parent, your kid’s safety comes before your own every single time.
- They can have a family and work at the same time without feeling guilty. Just because you don’t have children doesn’t mean you, your partner, and your pet aren’t a family. Being a family doesn’t automatically have to include kids. The perks of being a dog or cat mom is that your pet doesn’t care if you work or not. When you’re a mom who loves your career, it’s hard not to feel some guilt and sadness when leaving your kid in childcare while you go to the office, or having to put your career on hold to stay home with your child.
- Their schedule isn’t revolving around their kids’ activities. It can be really annoying to schedule your day around your son’s nap time or when your 5th grader gets off the bus. This is something that doesn’t exist to my friends without kids. Their time is theirs. They have a lot more flexibility in their day to day life.
- Other parents can be a nightmare. This is a big reason why I don’t have a ton of mom friends. As a former daycare teacher, I’ve seen first hand how terrible some parents can be. When it comes to our children, there’s a crazy side of us that sometimes comes out, and it can get really ugly really quickly when we feel we’re being judged or attacked.