I’m In A Relationship With You, Not With Your Phone — Please Put It Away

When we’re having one-on-one time, nothing makes me more annoyed than when you start scrolling on your phone. It’s rude, disrespectful and makes me feel like I’m not important to you. I get that everyone’s addicted to our phones nowadays, but I’d really appreciate it if you’d put it away when I was around.

  1. The stuff you’re looking at is silly and pointless anyway. No, I don’t want to look at a video of a bunny eating raspberries. I’m sure it’s funny and cute, but the brain cells I would waste on looking at every video you showed me would be just astronomical. Do you really not realize how much of your time is getting wasted by looking at that pointless crap? My idea of spending time together is not watching you watch your phone — especially when you’re not even doing something productive.
  2. Face it — you’re addicted to it. You have to know by now that you have a problem. I see you with your phone more than without it, so I think it’s safe to say that you’re addicted to it. I think it would be the best thing for the both of us if you put it away when we’re together. Not only will you get over your addiction, but you’ll actually be with me for once.
  3. You check your phone before you even say good morning to me and that’s messed up. The fact that the first thought that pops into your head upon waking is, “Hey, I wonder how the millions of people I follow on social media are doing?” and not, “I wonder how the girl I love who is lying literally right beside me is doing?” is so messed up. I know that you don’t think your phone is more important than me, but you sure do act like it.
  4. I only seem to get half of your attention when your phone is in your hand and it’s rude. The second you start scrolling on your phone, you turn into a zombie and it’s scary. It’s almost like you’re being possessed and if I ask you a question, it takes you, like, a full minute to answer it. You might as well not even be in the room with me because your mind always seems to be anywhere but here.
  5. The second you take it out, our connection is lost. We could be having a really great time, but the second you whip your phone out, it’s over. This happens a lot in groups of friends. One person takes it out and then everyone else does it too, totally killing any social vibe that was going on. I just want us to have a conversation that lasts more than 15 minutes and not be constantly interrupted by your “phone breaks.”
  6. It makes you a more depressed and anxious person. There have been actual studies that prove heavy smartphone use can affect your mental health and I swear that ever since you upgraded your phone, you’ve been a lot more on edge than normal. Apparently, if you use your phone too much, it can downregulate dopamine in the brain. Please stop before you turn into a monster!
  7. I don’t want some dumb phone to be the reason I break up with you. How sad would it be if I had to break up with you because of your phone use? I don’t want to believe that you’d rather scroll through Imgur than have a conversation with me, but your actions tell me otherwise. If this continues, I might have to pull the plug on this whole relationship because I deserve someone who actually listens to me when I talk.
  8. I get paranoid that you’re texting girls on there. I hope that the majority of the time when you’re scrolling through your phone, you’re either looking at Facebook or reading something on Reddit, but sometimes you look like you’re really engaged with someone on there. I can’t help but get jealous of this mystery person you’re smirking about when I’m right here trying to talk to you. I know it’s probably not a girl, but whoever it is, you sure seem a lot more interested in them than me…
  9. It makes our conversations boring. When you have your phone out, everything I say must seem so boring to you — and when we do start to talk about something interesting, you’ll always find a way to rope the internet into it. Let’s just allow ourselves to discuss things together and have an opinion about something instead of just showing each other YouTube videos.
  10. It’s making us grow apart. I don’t want to be that couple in the restaurant who are on their phones the whole time. How can we expect to grow in our relationship if we’re constantly distracting ourselves with the mindless stuff on the internet? Taking your phone out when we’re spending time together shows me that you don’t care about the relationship anymore and judging by how much you avoid talking to me, I can see that you’ve pretty much already checked out.
Jennifer is a playwright, dancer, and theatre nerd living in the big city of Toronto, Canada. She studied Creative Writing at Concordia University and works as a lifestyle writer who focuses on Health, B2B, Tech, Psychology, Science, Food Trends and Millennial Life. She's also a coreographer, playwright, and lyricist, with choreography credits for McMaster University’s “Spring Awakening,” “Roxanne” for the Guelph Contemporary Dance Festival, and “The Beaver Den” for The LOT, among others.

You can see more of her work on her Contently page and follow her on Instagram @jenniferenchin.