I can’t count how many times I’ve had to sit back and watch a friend enter into a new relationship that’s clearly no good for her. There are only so many ways to gently suggest that a dude isn’t the greatest before you face a choice of either outright saying it or letting go and watching it happen. Well, I’m done with watching passively as my friends get swept up into relationships where they’re treated like crap.
- If you see something, say something. That’s what we’re taught since we were kids, right? I can’t sit back and watch while a guy trashes my friend’s self-worth without saying something. I’ve avoided stepping out before, but now I believe it’s worth the trouble to at least try. Sometimes when you’re so close to the situation, you can’t see how it’s slowly becoming a bad one.
- Being a friend means looking out for each other. That’s why you need a friend who can call a significant other out on their crap. It doesn’t always feel good to be told your boyfriend is treating you like crap, but a true friend will tell you when they see it, because otherwise, what’s the alternative? I’d rather a friend get mad at me for telling it like it is than watch as they get slowly trapped into a toxic relationship for years.
- I’m not afraid to let you know you deserve better. I’m your friend, and I think I know you pretty well. I know your flaws and faults, but more than that, I know how amazing you are and how hard you’ve worked to get there. I’m unable to watch a guy treat you like a servant without stepping up to say something. Because you deserve someone who sees you as an equal.
- I want the best for my friends. Why? Because I love you, because I think you’re wonderful, and because I want to see you happy. You might say he’s making you happy, but what I see is someone who constantly puts you down, and then laughs it off as a “joke.” Sorry, but it’s not a joke if he’s the only one laughing. I want better for you than that.
- I’m not going to say something lightly.It takes a lot for me to get to the point where I feel it’s my duty as a friend to come right out and say it. I wouldn’t do it lightly, and I think my friends know that. I know that the messenger often gets shot (metaphorically), but it’d have to be pretty bad for me to be willing to take that risk. Because I value our friendship, I’d have to be fully convinced it’s the right thing to do.
- It hurts me to watch you hurting. I can’t deal with it when you’re in pain. If I am on the receiving end of your phone calls after every fight he picks with you, I’m going to want to say something. And what I’ll end up saying might sound a lot like “he’s not worth this.”
- I can’t be a good friend if I can’t be honest. This is what it ultimately boils down to. If I can’t tell you the truth, how can I be a good friend? The next time I see a man treating one of my besties like crap, I’m stepping up to the plate, because I’m over it.