I’m Sick Of Guys Who Are Intimidated By Me

I’m Sick Of Guys Who Are Intimidated By Me ©iStock/Brickrena

I’ve dated more than a couple guys who confessed to being intimidated by me. They meant it as a compliment, I think – like I’m a force to be reckoned with or something – but it doesn’t feel like one. It feels like a pathetic excuse for not standing up and being an equal partner. Here’s why the guys who say stuff like this drive me crazy:

  1. I’m strong and independent, not scary. Being a badass doesn’t make me a bitch! Sorry not sorry that I’m comfortable being myself and that I take pride in being a confident woman. Anyone who is intimidated by that should perhaps look at himself and try to figure out where his own insecurities are originating. A guy should be attracted to these qualities, not afraid of them.
  2. If you can’t handle my personality, don’t bother. Don’t waste my time by acting like you’re into me, then getting annoyed when I stay exactly the same. Liking you doesn’t mean I’m going to behave the way you want. If you’re attracted to my physical qualities but not to what lies underneath, this isn’t going to work. There’s no point. Move along.
  3. I refuse to be less of who I am to suit your idea of how a woman should be. Yes, I’m independent. Yes, I’m strong. Yes, I’m opinionated. Yes, I live freely and without censoring myself. If you aren’t comfortable with any of that, it’s not my problem. If you aren’t man enough to deal with the complicated, beautiful, complex creature I am, then you aren’t the guy for me. It’s very simple.
  4. I need a man who respects and admires my strength. I don’t want someone who is intimidated by me. I want an equally strong and independent partner who loves the way that I am and wouldn’t have me be any different. I want someone who is actually proud and happy to have a badass woman in his life. I want someone who eschews weak-minded, wishy-washy pushovers as romantic partners.
  5. If you can’t go toe-to-toe with me, don’t bother. Instead of a man who feels less than because I’m who I am, I want a partner who not only enjoys me, but challenges me. I don’t respect a guy who says he’s intimidated by me. It makes me wonder what’s going on with him that he isn’t comfortable with my uncompromising individuality. If my lover isn’t taking me above and beyond emotionally, intellectually, and sexually, I don’t want any part of it.
  6. I may have a big personality but that doesn’t mean I’m unapproachable. I’m not loud and obnoxious. I just enjoy myself, I laugh when things are funny, and I don’t worry about what other people are thinking of me. It took me a long time to get here. Don’t shame my growth and dedication to becoming the woman I should be by being afraid of me. I’m not scary. I want the same things as everyone else. Don’t be afraid to come up and talk to me if you have good intentions. You may be surprised by how soft and gentle I can be.
  7. Every girl wants to be appreciated and pursued, even us independent ladies. There are a few things most of us women can agree on. One of them is that no matter who you are or what you fall for, it feels good to be desired. Everyone wants to be wanted. Guys need to step it up and stop using my strong personality as a cop out for the fact that they are too wussy to approach me. That’s ridiculous. There is nothing physically intimidating about me. The biggest turn-on in the world is a guy who doesn’t let my personality faze him one little bit.
  8. I can be a bad ass and still want a ton of romance in my life. I have a surprise for you. This scary, strong, intimidating woman is also the biggest gooey romantic you will ever meet. There is nothing I want more than for the perfect man to appear in my life magically and sweep me off my feet. I know the odds are low, but what I’m saying is that I’m not intimidating at all. I’m vulnerable and loving and romantic and mushy and cheesy and all that stuff. If you’re intimidated by that, too, then there’s no hope for you. Please just go away and leave me be.


A former actress who has always loved the art of the written word, Amy is excited to be here sharing her stories! She just completed her first novel, and is also a contributor for Elite Daily, Dirty & Thirty, and Thought Catalog. Amy is the founder of What If Journey and can be found on Twitter @amyhorton18. You can also visit her website at amyhorton.net.