I’m Sick Of Guys Who Keep Telling Me “We’re Just Having Fun”

Searching for a meaningful connection in dating has never been more difficult, and just when I think I’ve finally found someone who wants something real, he drops the most dreaded sentence into my lap: “We’re just having fun.” What the hell does that even mean? Of course dating and getting to know someone new is fun. What’s not fun, however, is that so many guys I meet use this BS line to get away with stringing me along or keep me in a casual spot. Frankly, I’m sick of it.

  1. I’m not the good time girl — I’m the long time girl. It’s very frustrating being a woman who approaches dating honestly, only to be constantly met with that frat boy mentality of hooking up and keeping his options open. If that’s what he’s looking for, I’m not a girl he should be adding to your roster at all. I’m the type of woman he should want to share his whole life with, not just his bedroom and happy hours.
  2. I want a guy who can admit his honest intentions. I get that a lot of guys need to say these things to keep it light and to feel like they’re keeping their emotions on lock down, but that’s just not how I roll, nor is that the kind of man I want. If he’s not searching for the same thing as I am, he should just tell me straight up. I’m a grown woman and I can make my own choices. Knowing what’s up means I can walk away before wasting my time on the hope that “just having fun” will lead to something more.
  3. I’ve had enough casual, non-committal fun — I’m over it. No, I’m not being a prude and no, I’m not “too serious” with no chill. I have plenty of chill and I’m the life of the party in so many ways, but I’ve long since outgrown the days when dating was purely for sport. I’ve enjoyed the various phases of my dating life and I’ve experienced all that I need to. The next chapter I’m writing is going to be nothing but love and planning for the future. I won’t settle for anything less.
  4. At a certain point, he needs to grow up. My morals are strong and he won’t be able to change my mind, no matter how hard he tries. If he’s still hung up on just having fun with women when it comes to dating and isn’t even open to the idea of a deeper and more meaningful relationship, then he’s probably not a grown enough man for me to begin with.
  5. I’m too old to keep playing these nonsense games. Like I said, I left the casual and fun phase of life behind me long ago, I’m ready for a new beginning and a new stage of life. I’ve been on the dating merry-go-round for far too long now and in all honesty, I’m too old for this ride now. The “just having fun” safety blanket might work on some women, but I’m not one of them.
  6. I want to feel special in someone’s life. There’s nothing fun about dating a guy and only being halfway in his life because apparently fun is where the magic stops. I’m done with having a limit on my affections right off the bat. I want a flourishing relationship that’s limitless and a guy who doesn’t show me the glass ceiling of his heart that he’s unwilling to break. No way. I want a guy who knows what he wants and is open to believing that women and dating someone like me is more than just fun. I want a guy who makes me feel like I’m amazing and irreplaceable — because I am.
  7. He’s not fooling me with his sugarcoating. Let’s be real here — this whole “just having fun” garbage is just a ruse to make women feel like we’re expecting too much or acting crazy and clingy when we’re honest about wanting something deep and meaningful. Sorry, but I’m not that type of woman. I can’t be baited or fooled into thinking that his cool idea of just having fun will lead me to where I’m looking to go and grow with someone.
  8. I’m looking for something deeper than just fun. To me, a deeper connection is where the real fun truly begins. There’s no better feeling than getting to know someone without limitations, staying up late and talking for hours about everything from how stars are formed to our wildest life goals. He might think that rolling around the sheets with a new woman every couple of months is living life to the fullest, but for me, it’s growing into a better person and creating new, exciting and fun life experiences with one person for the rest of our lives. That’s true #lifegoals for me.
  9. I don’t need a guy to waste my time with his juvenile dating tactics. Instead of using this lame ass excuse, I just want him to be straight up and honest about what he’s truly looking for — a short-term hookup. Let’s not pretend that he’s anything more than the obvious. If he wants to have his fun, he can go ahead — but it’ll be without me.