I’m Sick Of Meeting Arrogant Or Boring Guys — I Want Someone In The Middle

Like a lot of single women, my first dates range from totally dull to ridiculously weird. For the most part, though, the guys I meet either have zero personality or way too much. I just want to meet a guy who’s not arrogant or boring but in the middle — is that too much to ask?

  1. There’s a fine line between confidence and cocky. It’s sad how many guys seem to think that being conceited is cute. Newsflash: it’s really not. I can’t even with guys who will tell me that my opinions are wrong, who are rude to servers, and who complain about everything under the sun. This is never going to result in a second date… or a relationship.
  2. I’m proud of who I am. I’m never going to apologize for being who I am or loving my life as much as I do. I’m proud to be right here, right now, and I’m tired of guys who are intimidated by my career success or who tell me that I’m doing something wrong. I’m definitely not the only woman who feels this way since this is a sad fact of modern dating.
  3. Most first dates are dull. Reality check: this is just the way that it goes most of the time. While it sucks to realize that so many dates are crazy boring, it’s also a weird form of motivation to keep going. My hope is that I’m going to meet a guy who is in the middle: not dull, not cocky, but actually interesting.
  4. Some guys need to step it up. The entire point of a first date is to meet the other person, try to get to know them, and not be super judgmental. Unfortunately, some guys don’t get that concept, and they really need to step it up. I wish that they would stop acting like total know-it-alls on first dates because it’s never going to be even remotely attractive.
  5. I’m tired of trying so hard. It’s no secret that being your true self on a first date can be a super tall order. Life is busy and dating is stressful and sometimes it’s hard to really be myself. I always try my best to be somewhat interesting, but I’m tired of trying so hard, especially since the guys I’ve been dating don’t seem to be trying at all.
  6. It’s not too much to ask. Being a decent human being means trying to be a good person on a regular basis. That shouldn’t be too hard. Unfortunately, when it comes to dating, it seems to like too much to ask, but it’s not. It’s really not.
  7. These guys exist. Between ex-boyfriends, ex-almost boyfriends, first dates that went nowhere for one reason or another, and friends’ boyfriends, I know for a fact that guys in the middle of arrogant and boring do exist. So they shouldn’t be that tricky to find, should they?
  8. It shouldn’t be this difficult. The whole idea is that going on date after date is actually meeting someone awesome eventually. But while there have been some bright moments along the way, my dating journey is pretty much a bunch of frustrating or just plain boring first dates. It shouldn’t be this difficult and there should be more guys who aren’t arrogant or dull but are just totally normal.
  9. It’s called growing up. When a guy is confident but not too much and has an actual personality (along with some super positive traits like being kind and funny and smart), that’s the dream. It also proves that he’s a mature adult, something that is sometimes lacking in modern dating. I’m committed to finding a grown-up because I (and all my fellow single women) totally deserve this.
  10. Something has to give. With anything in life, practice is supposed to make perfect, and I’ve always been able to get what I want from doing my best, showing up, and working hard. Of course, dating doesn’t factor into that theory. But really, something has to give. I have to meet the kind of guy that I want eventually. Before I go too crazy, I’m just going to keep believing that.
Aya Tsintziras is a freelance lifestyle writer and editor from Toronto, Canada. In addition to writing about dating and relationships for Bolde, she also writes about movies, TV, and video games for ScreenRant and GameRant. She has a Political Science degree from the University of Toronto and a Masters of Journalism from Ryerson University. You can find her on Twitter @ayatsintziras and on Instagram @aya.tsintziras.